BB-Chan/Oven

“If the seven deadly sins are gluttony, greed, lust, wrath, sloth, envy, and pride, I am a man set for the hottest pits of hell.”

You can never be too proud when your quiet, introverted cousin is finally making friends at school

*reads fanfic*
          
          Dad, looking over: … are you reading gay Sherlock?

I am not: vibing

My grandma: *casually* you know… my parents were siblings
          
          Me: they were WHAT

Can I just say I LOVE self-aware villains like how tf are you going to kill thousands and thousands of innocents and be like “yep perfectly justifiable”

“*sobs* I DONT LIKE IT WHEN YOU SAY NOOOOOO”
          - my sister to my mom

Did I lie about certain aspects of my life to impress a 75-year-old grandma that I think I be very cool? Yes, yes I did

Honestly, who let me get near children? I know I’m not good with them and I don't want to negatively affect them just because I don't know how to handle them 

I’m on a car trip with my very energetic little sister
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          SAVE ME PLEASE