Being mature is overrated.

Being weird is like being normal, only better.

I see regular people!

I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like Slinky's... useless, but fun to watch fall downstairs

There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is 

I'm not littering...I'm donating to the Earth

Life is like a pack of gum... I've yet to figure out why.

Never knock on Death’s door, ring the doorbell and run away, he hates that.

Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out

To the world, you are just one person, but to one person, you are the world

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions

. WARNING: Do NOT walk in my footsteps... I tend to walk into walls, and off the occasional cliff

Person #1: Happiness is just around the corner! Person #2: Too bad the world is round!

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you do criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes

You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

I'm not random, i just have many tho- OH A SQUIRREL!

My favorite word is sarcasm.

me and you is friends, you smile, I smile, you hurt, I hurt, you cry, I cry, you jump off a bridge I'm gonna miss your e-mails

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious problems.

It's true, Edward Cullen prefers brunettes. Sorry, Barbie you aren't Bella, and Edward isn't your Ken.

Jacob Black glared at the children dressed as vampires and he knew it wasn't right but he lied and told them there was no candy left anyway.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder