Axel can we talk about something? If I'm being disturbing please say so, I don't want to make you unnerved. You know about my rather surreal sexually perverted behaviour and obsession with... Dangerous men like Uncle Johnny. Well... yesterday morning I woke up and I gazed into the mirror and was admiring my beauty. Then I visualised me with my future husband, then I had this strange thought... How will I tell him what happened to me when I was 6 years old?? How will I face him??? Pondering over these questions, I felt... Unclean. my naughty mood turned into a gloomy one and I lost interest in my beauty. Today a few minutes ago, I was walking around aimlessly when I suddenly felt mentally disturbed and I hugged the plushy nearest to me. Then I realised how vulnerable I am and no matter how maturely I act I'm still a young girl who needs protection from her parents and that the men in the outside world aren't good people and they won't leave a lock of my hair, an inch of my skin or a nail in my fingers untouched or unbroken. I felt really vulnerable and that's a rare feeling for me. I was wearing a pink dress and my hair was down and messy , which reminded me of Sally Williams and that I'm no different from her and what happened to Sally could happen to me anytime anywhere... What is happening to me Axel?? I know I've some problem on a sexual level, but I cannot open up to anyone... I can't get help... I know there's something wrong with my mind and my sick disgusting thoughts... I know... But... I can't help it...
