People get asked all the time if they are ok. I don't get asked that question. I guess the mask I wear and the act I put on fools everyone.

But why am I not allowed to ask for help, like everyone else? 
Even when all I hear in my head is-

"You're a fake"

"notorious liar-" 

"You only have on job-"

"Hey can you keep this secret?" 

"You better not tell anyone about this-"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

I write to clear my mind. 

This IS my version of therapy because I can't get the help I... 

need?
Or... 
want? 

"Selfish"