Useless_MOODy

Okay.. So.. Last year I wrote enough for an essay. I talked about how I have a strong disliking to the last day of the year. Meaning today. Dec 31. It’s currently a Tuesday night. I haven’t changed my feelings for this day and i dread it a lot.. But i’ve come to the realization that, I just have to accept and move on. So many better things can happen to me and for that to even be achievable is for me to let go of the past. I can’t go back in time and I can’t pause the time. I need to learn to live in the moment and stop taking things to heart, because a new thing can be waiting for me on the other side. I wanted to say this for a little update on such a big topic for me. (Maybe i’m just being very immature about this.) I wrote so much and shedded tears for years that i won’t even get back. So this is me. Accepting and going on with my life. Even with how much i hate this day. And how excited people get for this day. I’ll just Accept it.
          
          It pains my heart to even let this be my reality but what can I do about it. ANYWAY i hope everyone has had a good 2024 and I hope 2025 is even better.
          (yes, i am a 17 year old crying about this. )

a lil vent 
          
          
          
          
          
          okay… maybe im just a shitty ass friend. losing something im not fucking responsible. Stop relying on me to do everything. I’m tired.  fuck. Im fucking tired. I dont give a fuck anymore. Cry abt it. I wont care. Its not like you care when im the one crying. Fuck you honestly.

https://youtu.be/0LiQp7y8Wwc?si=PrSfepB6Vv9d-zOV WAKE UP!! MOTHERS HAS POSTED

Don’t you js love when author have the ability to make you cry while reading their stories 
          
          i’m looking at you @writtenbygyu and @PURINZLUV
          
          Like why did Soobin have to Suffer and DIE and why did Taehyun have to DIE and Beomgyu lived?? Like UGH but like I luv BEOMgyu soo It would’ve made me cry too if he died but it would be exPECTED!! :) 
          
          Thanks for coming to my ted talk 

Hey guys. I don't know who will see this but hi. I'm not usually that one sappy person but I felt the need to just come on a platform where my friends aren't on. Recently I've been crying my eyes out when I see something mentioning something about the new year. I'm not a person who dislikes change but every new year I find myself in my bed late at night crying cause I will miss all the things and memories through out the years. I remember 2020 like the back of my hand and sometimes I wish it could go back. I wish I could just be that girl, insolated in my room blasting tomorrow by together songs along with lots of other Kpop songs. I wish I could go back to my old house where I spent over 5 years in. The memories I miss the most. I really wish I could go back and it makes me sad when I think about it. I can't go back. I really can't. Life is moving so fast and I wish it wasn't. What could I do other than wishing I could go. Nothing. Cause there's no way to go back. The only thing I would know is through pictures. But those years were also when I hated taking pictures. I didn't want to see myself. I didn't like myself. And the only now I start to regret being the way. Anyway enough with sappy shit. Thank you for reading this if you did. I hope or hoped you have or had a happy new years. (I hate this term tho)
          <3