Vegetable.Shortening

I read bl not yaoi 
          
          ppl get them confused a lot, one is slow burn romance between 2 men, the other is practically just porn (with the occasional storyline) 
          
          
          That's all.

young wild and free I guess 
          
          ecstacy or acid next 
          
          got offered coke but that might be a little too hardcore for me 
          
          gonna dye my hair again and cut it it's too long 
          
          I love change I love alcohol (not beer) I love drugs I'm about to move out I can't wait 
          
          I'm saving for a car 
          
          things are good 
          
          didn't think I'd be alive at this age sooooo don't ask me bout the future 
          
          only thing I can think of that id want in the future, is prob dihk (no relationships tho I don't fw that) so much work tho 

they took down most of my go to smut books bruh 
          
          do they rly want me to move to ao3 that bad or what 
          
          I'm so sick of the censorship on the internet because of mad parents refusing to put in the effort to not censor what their kid sees but insist that the whole internet should be safe for their kid. 
          
          stfu and actually parent if u don't want ur kid seeing the real world, censor it urself hoe
          
          this isn't really about the smut tho, it's the censorship. they are stopping ethnic studies classes, making the materials harder to find, erasing slavery and genocides that people need to know about. 
          
          not just past, BUT PRESENT. things happening right now, are being hidden, silenced and covered up
          
          everyone should know why and how people allowed shit like that to happen, how not to let it ever happen again, and now the US wants to take it all away
          
          history repeats itself when you don't actively try not to repeat it. 

Guys. I am now employed. 
          
          Money = Yay 
          Putting $ into Corporate Billion Dollar Businesses = fuck u 
          Rent = Yay 
          Having to work my ass off all the time = fuck u 
          Car (soon) = Yay 
          The company will pay for my college = Yay 
          Not constantly home = Yay 
          Putting $ into Corporate Billion Dollar Businesses = fuck u
          Putting $ into Corporate Billion Dollar Businesses = fuck u
          Putting $ into Corporate Billion Dollar Businesses = fuck u
          
          stupid fucking corporate America, but at least I get money and am not in the fast food industry. 

yesterday was the perfect start to spring/summer 
          
          I met up w a friend I haven't seen since I was like 16 and it was such a good match tbh funnest time I've had in a long damn time 
          
          anyways public intoxication is a crime so don't do that 
          
          also I learned yesterday that in most of the US, buying alcohol for anyone 'underage' even if they are over 18 is a felony so that's crazy asf 
          
          andddd we made more plans to hang out
          yippeee \⁠(⁠ϋ⁠)⁠/

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS UPDATE HELPPP WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NOTIF CENTER ༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽༼⁠;⁠´⁠༎ຶ⁠ ⁠۝ ⁠༎ຶ⁠༽

LMAOOAOAOAOAOAO LMFAOOOOO 
          
          I WAS JUST READING AND THE MAIN COUPLE WAS JUS GOIN AT IT, AND ONE OF THEM SHOT THEIR LOAD LITERALLY ACROSS THE ROOM TOWARD THE DOOR 
          
          RIGHT AS SOMEONE WALKED IN, AND IT WAS SO UNEXPECTED IM CRYING BC WHATTT LMAOOO 

TW, CW, WHATEVER U WANNA CALL IT, WARNING!!.
          
          when I talked to the suicide hotline for the first time when I was 14, they told me if I wasn't planning on killing myself then I shouldn't call or text the hotline. 
          
          when I told them I often thought about suicide, fantasized about it, planned it out, or made plans about how it could go, they said if I didn't have an immediate plan to kill myself, I shouldn't call or text the hotline. 
          
          when they asked if I had ever hurt myself, or thought of hurting myself, I said 'yes, I have and I do'. they said it didn't matter unless I had an immediate plan to kill myself, I shouldn't call or text the hotline. 
          
          one of the first signs someone is seriously considering suicide is self harm. another is reaching out for help, a call for help is often the last time someone reaches out, a last ditch effort if you will 
          
          I'm posting this for awareness, because I've been thinking, what if that call was the last I had made, my last ditch effort? what if I just didn't want to admit that I was this | | close to ending it all? 
          
          It physically hurts me to think about all the poor souls who hoped just one person would care, who wished that maybe, just maybe someone could help them through their struggles, but when they made their call, they were met with automated, basic questions instead of empathy and care, that they were told they weren't a priority because there were people who 'actually needed help' and they simply slipped through the cracks. 

when I was a kid I was taught to be quiet, listen, do what you are told 
          
          when I was a teen I was told I need to speak up, stand up for yourself, have some confidence 
          
          now as an 'adult' I'm still nervous and quiet as I was when I was a kid, but when I do find my voice or stand up for myself I feel silenced, unlistened to, and unimportant. 
          
          when I have some confidence, I feel big headed, like I don't deserve to have it. 

bro why do people (esp old white ppl) excuse teens being racist/using slurs
          
          'oh they were just a teen, they didn't know better' 
          
          'they didn't know what they were saying' 
          
          'they've grown since then' or 'it was in the past' or 'they apologized' 
          
          
          if you are old enough for your age to end with ___teen, you are old enough to know not to say racial slurs or make racist jokes or participate in racist rhetoric 
          
          yours truly, a very white teen who has never even thought of using racial slurs against someone (or at all for that matter) 
          
          like why are you excusing a 15yo for this behavior? or a 17yo??? like huh??????
          
          THEY ARE SENTIENT PEOPLE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY ARE SAYING AND ARE SAYING THINGS TO DELIBERATELY HURT AND DISCRIMINATE AGAINST OTHERS 
          
          that is NOT excusable just because they are a teen/young adult 
          
          and the fact I'm seeing this behavior or excuses for this behavior so much on social media that I have to type this out/rant about it....in 2026......      
          
          this world is just so damn disappointing, glad I was born in this time, but also not, because why are we SO behind as a society and a world