Emerald Enchantress

Sorry for bothering many can tel me wen to expect next book in princess Assassin collection I'm just finished daemon blood

Where'd you get the background?

tv

I am soooo sorry I haven't updated recently but I've been working on editing  The Darkest Secrets and though I've been working really hard I'm not done because of my conflicting schedule I promise to try and update soon.

I don't know why I write my darkest thoughts here I only know that it is an outlet for my darkest thoughts to bloom anywhere that isn't my heart. After writing my dark desperate words of despondency I feel lighter. Like a piece of my anguish sewed itself into my words. I feel myself letting go of the needs for pain. Letting go of their dark siren like songs. I let myself smile as I wind their darkness into my words. Now though I feel that the decadent light of joy and happiness has filled me to the point that I'm ready to sacrifice some of it. To sew it into my writing letting it settle and shine inside the words that I poor onto the web of words and pictures that inspire emotions that we call the internet. I sit here hopping that any lost souls who stumble upon this, any of those who think that the darkness will bury you that you will find your own way to sew the darkness of desolation and the desperate depressions into your own outlet. Though I know that some darkness will remain. Though in your darkest hours you may find yourself swaying in their siren songs there will always be an outlet. For every soul there is a unique way to disperse the darkness. I know that for some finding it is easy and for others it is extremely hard. I promise you this though if you search with  earnest for your personal outlet you find it. One more thing though. For those of you who will be afraid of the darkness that will linger inside you, remember this; As true despair can only happen when you have felt true happiness you can, in turn, only feel happiness when you have felt true despair.

Depression is a strange emotion. It's something that twists through the darkest holes of our heats. It's something worms it's way into our warmest thoughts and burrows itself there leaving only a decaying memory of happiness. Depression is like an infection that grows, breaths, and destroys everything except one memory of a feeling of wondrous joy. A light that keeps you moving. Depression sits there leaving the light there, letting it flicker and die on its own so that we can feel true despair. The kind that lingers and lets strangling strands of hope flutter through the inky black killer that is desolation. The kind that keeps you cutting and hiding but not killing. The kind that lets you brush your fingers along happiness so that you never that you never forget that there is something else out there. Something better, something beautiful, something brilliant. It lets you gain hope that you'll discover true happiness once again. Only then its cold claws will curl cruelly around you. Once again pulling you under into the torturous inky black chambers bellow. Everyday this torturous emotion, infliction, monster whatever you wish to call it attacks the darkest parts of my soul, mind, and heart. It expands the dark anguish that has lurked silently in the darkest parts of me ready to pounce when it feels the time is right. I take steady breaths each night trying to fall asleep as the dark desolate despondency pulses silently beneath my skin growing faster then any disease. Letting evil thoughts find their way in telling me that depriving myself of the sweet sensations of pain will only add to my misery. Though to many the right answer obvious in my darkest moments I believe the  cold cutting voices. I'll stop depriving myself of their deadly sweet songs.  I'll stop depriving myself of the pain. It is then that I allow the knives to pierce my skin and it is then when I wish the nails would draw the dark blooming blood. It is then that I give in and let them win the war.

I had such a great day today and I never want it to end but now all I an think about is how it is going to end and that tomorrow is going to probably be one of the worst days ever.... I really don't want t let this day pass me by..... Though maybe nothing good can last longer than a few hours.... In my life anyways..... if only I could.... if only I would just.... but no this is my life.... Like a dress made with the fabric of misery and the thread of desolation.... What tears me apart the most though is the dashes of happiness that remind me that misery isn't the only thing out there.... that maybe it's my fault some how.... the pain and false traces of hope chose me as there victim..... that existing like this..... It can't  be living.... Not when there are smiles that could light up even the darkest parts of space.... Not when there is laughter that isn't forced.... laughter that can't be helped.... That's how I know there's something wrong with me..... because I cry more than I laugh.... because I bottle my emotions up more than I really smile.... I can't stand it.... knowing its all out there..... That maybe if I push a little harder.... I could brush my fingers across the tips of happiness.... and that's when you can feel true despair... When you know what true happiness feels like.

Hey

I feel like I'm silently drifting into darker and darker waters and I don't know how to find my way back into the light. Sometimes I feel as though my soul is too tired too move on and that I need to just lay down and let sleep consume me for all eternity. I don't know maybe its for the best...

@D3stini3Books  awwww thanx