Too gay to function 

"Do you you find Ellen attractive? Yes she's our president. And Jodie Foster's the Vice President. And Tegan and Sara and Ellen Page are the cabinet. And I am the Secretary of State" -Cameron Esposito


"Love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard Morty, then it slowly fades, leaving your stranded in a failing marriage. I did it, you parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle Morty, rise above! Focus on science!"