(Accordion intro)

Dr. Screwball Jones: Hey there!
Let's have some fun!
Join my good time gang!
Just, one question first?
Rhubarb? Or meringue?
Ha!

We'll make folks happy, through the land!
Have them howling on their knees!
So my little, orange friend,
Lend a hand if you please!
Pow!

Hey, don't look so shocked
Ain't it about the time,
To let... the pun... fit the crime!
Ha!

Wander: Screwball, you try too hard!
Dr. Screwball Jones: Doctor Screwball if you please, I've got an online P.H.D!
Wander: Folks should be free to find their own happiness;
You can't force them to have fun!
Dr. Screwball Jones: Sure I can, watch this!
Accordion!
(Accordion solo)
Wander: Banjo Retort!
(Banjo solo) 
Dr. Screwball Jones: Hey, you're pretty good!
Wander: But I think - that we - both know - it's time to let my Sylvia go!
Dr. Screwball Jones: NEVER!
(Banjo and accordion solo) (Banjo stops, Accordion plays)

Dr. Screwball Jones: String break!
Dr. Screwball Jones: Here's a joke:
How are you, Just like a lollipop stick?
In the end, you're both worn down by the force of my licks! Ha! Ha! Ha Ha Ha!

Ain't it a laugh? HAHA-HAH-HA!
Looks like the end of the line!
So leeeeeeeeet...
The puuuuuuuuun...
Fiiiiiiiiit...
Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
(Spoken) Crime.