Hi! So I just finished reading your recommendation, I meant to write this as a comment but I guess Wattpad changed during my time away and snuck a character limit.
Now, here I am :D
I honestly don't have much to say as your style varies from mine. I think your style is similar to the structure of a poet from other works I've read while I'm one to write long paragraphs with descriptions and actions and things like that.
I liked your word choice and the pacing, but sometimes the pacing can feel too slow at times in moments of action.
You're entitled to use characters whoever you want, yet I belief that Lamia has too many POV's or is too involved in the story when the two main characters are Beomgyu and Yeonjun (from my understanding.) Focus more on your main couple rather than the third person in the story because your readers want BEOMJUN/YEONGYU.
Other than that, you're on a good path when writing your story.
