Hi, Kolton. Here's my view and criticism on your story Gumball TS: Second Coming. Sorry to make you wait for two years and six months.
First off, you made a good start on the first chapter, but it fell out of pace quickly with the writing style, the many characters referenced and the amount of modern warfare (curse words, gen Z talk, etc.) used in a show that actively confirmed that it censors bad language itself. There is a lot of action which is cool, but there's too much drama and so many plot shifts within the story, rather making it a modern comedy skit story instead considering the modern tinges added into it. Gumball and Penny are also heavily mischaracterized together. Too many characters are referenced in one go and we never know what happens to them afterwards. In summary, this story mainly devolved into a modern "High on Life" fan-fiction friend group replica that remains a relic in TAWOG fan fiction to this day.
I also did notice that you have gotten into massive drama and harassment due to one of the chapters either mischaracterizing or torturing official characters in Gumball. I will let you know that I am in no way going to be involved in something that is now over and done with, and I hope that you're doing well despite all of that happening. I hope you have learned from what happened.
My one positive saying about this story is that you featured my vent Void sona Andrea, so props to you for that. I am so sorry I never noticed it for so long. For a big modern but messy story, you did my Void sona justice for a while, even if she was never mentioned again and only in the background. Good job. :)
Overall, your story isn't too interesting, not good in quality, and not my appeal, but it's old anyway. You did your best at the end of the day. Stay safe out there, I hope life is doing well for you. :)
