Ventsanonymous

Tw: suicide mention
          	
          	I wish I had just killed myself in 2022.
          	
          	This all hurts so much more than dying.

Ventsanonymous

Tw//
          I'm the person who's posted the last several vents, so it's the same tws
          
          
          
          
          I'm sorry I made you hate me. I'm sorry I ruined your life and I made your life horrible and I'm sorry I ruined everything. I want to fix it. How can I fix it? Do you want me dead? I can do that. Please just tell me what I have to do to make you love me and I'll do it

Ventsanonymous

Tw// parent problems, suicidal urges
          
          
          I just want you to love me. I'm sorry I'm not who you wanted. I'm sorry I'm not perfect. I'll work on getting rid of my personality so then you'll love me. I'm sorry. I really tried this time. I just want you to love me. 
          Everyone else thinks you're great and I can't talk to anyone about how awful you are because then they'll just think I'm being dramatic.
          I don't want to be here anymore. In this house, in this family, on this earth. I don't want to be here anymore.
          I just wanted to be good enough and I made you hate me even more. I'm sorry. I just want you to love me.
          I'm sorry I showed up at the wrong time. I'm sorry I ruined your life. I wish you would've aborted me too. I just want you to love me. I'm sorry. I'll leave. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Ventsanonymous

this message may be offensive 
Tw// parent problem, suicidal urges
          
          
          I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know why she hates me and not my brother. I don't fucking understand. I'm sorry you fucked me up and I'm sorry I'm not good enough and I'm sorry I'm not the kid you fucking wanted. I'm sorry, okay? Would you be happier if I was gone? If you had to bury me and never had to worry about me again? I think you might.
          I'm sorry.
          I just want you to love me like you love them.

Ventsanonymous

this message may be offensive 
Tw// suicide attempt
          
          
          Oh fuck. Fuck, I just did something really stupid. I don't know if I'm going to make it till morning. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've at least said goodbye. I did tell you I loved you though, that has to count for something. I'm so sorry I didn't say goodbye. I doubt I'll make it till morning. I love you so much I'm so sorry. I love you, baby. Please forgive me

Ventsanonymous

I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I love you, baby, please never forget that. No matter what happens now, I always have and always will love you. I've loved you for a really long time and I still love you as much as I did then. I will always love you, no matter what happens.

Ventsanonymous

Tw// disliking your own mind ig
          
          
          
          I hate it in my head. It's so hard to be here constantly. Not even sleeping is a reprieve anymore. I'm stuck in a neverending cycle of self-hate, belittlement, and intrusive thoughts. I'm really tired of this. I just want it gone

Ventsanonymous

this message may be offensive 
Tw// something
          
          I want my brain to be normal. I don't want all the overthinking and the anxiety and the fear and everything that's in my mind. I can't handle it anymore. My head is too loud and I just want it to be quiet. I'm exhausted just from being awake now and I can't handle it because I'm the one everyone is supposed to rely on for everything so I have to be able to do that but I'm also paralyzed by my anxiety and I'm just so fucking tired of this. I'm tired of my own head. I was a lobotomy. Please. Just remove the problem

Ventsanonymous

Tw for suicidal thoughts, suicidal ideation
          
          Hi. I'm the person who's posted the last two vents- and it hit again. I'm scared I might do something that'll work this time. I don't want to leave them but in the heat of the moment it feels like there's nothing left to live for. 
          I want to do it but I don't want to leave them. I promised I wouldn't leave them but here I am, contemplating it anyways.
          I'm sorry
          I'm so sorry
          I don't think I can stay much longer

snowflakeribbons

@Ventsanonymous hey I don't really want to start this with the typical 'I know how it feels' because quite frankly I only know a tiny proportion of how it feels and i don't want you to feel like im pitying you. All I can say is think about happy memories, think of what makest you the happiest. It could be a place, a hobby or something as simple as a little memory. It doesn't have to be huge just ponder it. Just think of those who made you happy. Think of the things and places that made you happy. Sit with your thoughts, even those that aren't happy and just take a think deeply. Remember life isn't always the best and it doesn't get better sometimes but sometimes it does. Every second, minute or even hour that you stay longer means something to those whom care for you. ( please don't take this message fully seriously because I don't know if this might come across as rude and offensive but thankyou if you are reading this , if you don't find it rude or offensive then take my word for it. ♡ )
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