Mother Lesbian

-where ive been, and why I won't be back-
          
          for the past few months, i have not been active on Wattpad. mostly just because ive transfered to Instagram. 
          
          Wattpad is a healing pile of depressed teens who bask in their negativity. i used to vent about how im unloved or worthless or whatever, but it did not help. negativity will not help you or your mental state. it's part of the reason why I haven't been active. it's a toxic place.
          
          it did not help my recovery. six months after my first recovery atempt, i am still relasping often. but still, i am doing better. 
          
          the other reason is because of the trust issues and paranoia my friend's actions bestowed upon me. i no longer wished to display my mental health so openly, as i had been doing before. my mind connected it to danger, so i treated it as such. 
          
          adding on to that, i realized how much i hated being known as "that crazy bitch who won't eat." because i was, in a way, veiwed as nothing more than my mental illness. so ive decided that i will not be seen as such, i will not be a sob story. 
          
          so although i wish to pursue mental health advocacy, i do not wish to tell my own story. at least not for now.
          
          my books will all be taken down, and the only trace of them will be in your memories.
          
          i will still have the app, but i will not be writing or interacting with the community anymore.
          
          it was glorious to met and interact with the community here, and i hope you all get help for any mental health issues you may be facing.
          
          and to conclude i thank you. all of you. this app helped me discovery who i am, and for that, i thank you.

why am I so fucking mad lmao

do i have body dysmorphia or is the school scale brocken

hi losers 
          
          I'm writing a thingy where I take things people assume about eating disorders/myths they've heard/ questions/etc and answering them in my book.
          
          any and all responses are appreciated!!

someone has to be those skinny bitch girls who dance in music videos, who pose for underwear, who sell skimpy clothes-
          but it doesn't have to be you. or me. 
          take care, loves

tw, anorexia
          
          
          
          
          last night, a lot went down. i don't want to get into it.
          
          i got to talk about my eating disorder. in a very serious way, and for what must've been hours. i broke down crying and we just got to talking from there.
          
          one thing that's hit me hard since then is how normal people don't understand eating disorders. not because they don't want to, but because they just physically can't. it made me realize how just screwed up my mindset is and was.
          
          i mentioned that i hid my eating disorder from my family by pretending to eat in front of them. what surprised me was how shocked they were. they didn't expect that I'd be so committed to starving myself that I'd stuff food into plastic bags underneath the table.
          
           i feel so fucking shallow for doing that. but I know I'm not shallow; I'm sick.
          
          pretending to not be starving yourself in front of your family isn't normal.
          lying to your friends for months about an eating disorder isn't normal.
          
          im not normal. 
          
          i dunno. it's just got me fucked up.
          

if u expect someone to recover from an eating disorder in less than three months than ur dead ass wrong and should shut up

GUESS WHO FINALLY UPDATED LIFE IS FOR THE LOVED HELL YEAHHH

hi can anyone help me out here? i need some advice

my school friends didn't sign up for a girl with and eating disorder
          but I didn't sign up for their BULLSHIT