Violence_IP

I had two more panic attacks during school.
          	One on Thursday last week an one today.
          	Just this time they were caused by my 'best friend'.

mixionary

@Violence_IP that sucks. did the therapy-thing you tried work out?
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Violence_IP

POV:
          You literally look like your type and still don't like yourself.

mixionary

@Violence_IP Yeah, i know, there are a lot of girls with buzzcuts, but its usually girls who wear make-up most days. I'm assuming you dont do that? I always had a buzzcut because i hate letting other people touch my hair, and I always passed as male like 90% of the time without issue, even though i'm pretty short. I also know a bunch of girls with a tubbo-ish haircut. There are girls with pretty much every haircut, because there are just so many girls. You won't be able to find a haircut that girls just don't wear, and that exclusively screams "MAN". 
            Also, if you want to get the tubbo-haircut (trademark), and you have some money, you dont have to go to the hairdresser your mom choses. Just find a hairdresser with good reviews on google maps and spend some of your own money on that. Its your hair. Non of your moms business. Its your youth, and your time to experiment with how you present. I dyed my hair to look like a basketball when I was fifteen, and another time i cut and dyed it into a christmas tree, and i got a random tattoo in a friends flat. Your mom has a very easy life if its just the tubbo-haircut.
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Violence_IP

@mixionary Yes, that's true.
            But I can't find an obviously female person that represents the haircut.
            My mum says no because 'that's a boy on the photo' (I want Tubbo's haircut. He's a boy.)
            What's even worse is that my mum and my hairdresser know each other and she (my hairdresser) says she only cuts haircuts that she also likes as long as the people, whose hair she cuts, are kids.
            Adults can do whatever the hell they want.
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mixionary

@Violence_IP thats one possibility, yeah XD you sounded like you disliking your body was a very mysterious thing to you. 
            You can get any haircut you want underage. Theres no ban on that. You only need your parents to agree for piercings, tattoos and stuff, but you can go to the hairdresser and aks for any haircut you want, or cut your hair yourself. You cant do anything wrong with a buzzcut. 
            There are no male or female haircuts, there are just styles that lean in more masculine or feminine directions.
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Violence_IP

this message may be offensive
I'm in the middle of a panic attack during my English lesson and I'm trying to hide it but it's hard
          I don't think this has happened before
          Just because of a conversation with a girl I hate
          I'm fucking shaking

Violence_IP

@mixionary I don’t. That’s the most confusing thing about it.
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mixionary

@Violence_IP I get that. Do you often deal with panic attacks?
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Violence_IP

@mixionary  I'm good now. It took me the whole English lesson to recover. I ended up going outside with a girl. My teacher wasn't in the classroom anyway, as she was taking English tests in a different classroom. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have been upset or anything, as she is just a very sweet and caring person, but it's kind of weird having all of those eyes on me, if you know what I mean.
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Violence_IP

GUYS
          I DID IT
          I GOT HELP
          Not professional one, but still help
          Basically, my school has this mental health program, led by three teachers
          It's practically like therapy, but their not professionals and you don't need a parent to allow that and everything and are mostly just there if you need someone to talk to about ANYTHING (doesn't matter if the thing you want to talk about is good or bad)
          They also said that they might recommend a therapist or something, depending on the problem, but that doesn't have to be the case
          I know two of the three teachers, but absolutely don't like them
          I kind of know the third one too, but not really
          But he seemed pretty cool to me, so I sent him an email and he's already agreed and we only have to find an appointment that would work for the both of us
          This is making me feel nervous but relieved at the same time