Dear 2025,
This year tested me in ways I never imagined.
It came with disappointment after disappointment, loss after loss, heartbreak layered over heartbreak — not just for me, but for my family too. Every time we thought “ab sab theek ho jayega”, something worse followed. It felt cruel… almost personal.
Somewhere along the way, I lost myself.
Not dramatically — quietly.
I lost my hopes.
I lost my faith.
I lost my strength.
And most painfully, I lost the girl I used to be — a version of me who laughed easily, talked freely, and believed things would work out. I don’t know when she slipped away. I just know she isn’t here anymore.
I stopped communicating.
Not because I didn’t care — but because I didn’t know what to say. My friends kept waiting for even a chhotu sa reply from me, and I wanted to respond… I really did. But what was I supposed to share?
There were no happy updates.
Only sadness.
Only heaviness.
I was scared that if I spoke, it would feel like I was dumping my pain on them.
While others shared happy moments,
I learned how to survive quietly.
I chose silence over explaining my pain,
because sometimes protecting your heart
looks like disappearing.
This year emptied me.
It took so much that even breathing through some days felt like an achievement.
And yet… we are alive.
At this point, that feels like the biggest win of all.
I don’t know if I healed.
I don’t know if I grew.
All I know is — I survived a year that tried its best to break me.
If one day I find myself again — even a quieter, softer version — I hope she knows this:
She did the best she could with what she had.
And that was enough.
— VD
