VixenSlust_

Ever since I said I was discontinuing my fanfic, spam bots been on my ass fr

VixenSlust_

"I feel like it’s [depression] is heavily impacting me more than in my freshman and sophomore years. It got to the point where every time I wake up, I just want to lay in bed and do nothing. Just bed rot in my room for some days and only get out of my room when I need to pee. I don’t even feel like eating anymore. I just choose to eat to not worry anyone. I feel disconnected everyday, and I try to stay home but I can’t. And I hate it. I hate how i have to wake up everyday, look at myself in the mirror, “relapsing” because I can’t be happy. It's like I don’t care about anything anymore. I’m tired of staying after school, I’m tired of going out, I'm tired of doing work, I'm tired of trying to fit in and doing all of these activities I force myself to do."
          —My Google doc journal/book

VixenSlust_

Every time I TRY and go to band practice, guess what? THERES NO PRACTICE. And I should've known better cuz my band teacher haven't been to school in 2 days so why is there band practice? But did i think that? NO. What did i say? "OK." ....... nobody texted in the group chat on the groupme app, I been at school til 5:01, I JUST FOUND OUT there wasn't practice BY A NEW BAND MEMBER WHO CAME LAST YEAR. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW. I ASKED MY ADVISORY SISTER WHOS ALSO IN BAND AND SHE SAID "yes we do have practice"..... WHY. AND THEN ME AND MY MOM LITERALLY HAD THIS CONVERSATION WITH MY BAND TEACHER IN REPORT CARD PICKUP LAST FRIDAY. 
          
          I blame myself for even believing that there was band practice today, bc I literally just noticed my band teacher wasn't here for 2 days. So I blame myself for that. But to say "yea there's practice" and knowing damn well we don't, like... I dont even trust yall now. And its starting to piss me off.