VkookieQTaekookLover

i want to do a vkook fanfiction collaboration with someone who is a hard stan, like me ;)

lutfieskenderi

Since you are asking for review, i am gonna give you my honest and my advice as a reader. In " now we are talking" the first chapter really put me off. It was too fast and confusing. When i read the second charter i was really confused because it didn't have any connection with the first one( i know that it's probably related with a future part of the story but it was a little bit too much and too cliché: flitarious boss with a secretary in love with him, smut). The first ch needs editing. From the second one the story got better, your writing got better. But there were too many cliché part, famous tae bullied shy JK. It lacked the scene that explain how the two of them got closer, without the bullies or dead parents. They are friend but they don't act such as, they are classmates and roomates, but there weren't any scene of them hanging out and getting to know. Too much sexual scene out of the blue

VkookieQTaekookLover

@lutfieskenderi this is actually really helpful thank you very much. i’ll make sure to keep up the good work, ♡︎.
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lutfieskenderi

I think you have potential, you can write good and long chapters. You have original idea. Juat don't use too many cliche scene, that everyone use. Make the story yours, put your sign in it, put your idea, i know it's difficul. I said the bad things because they are the one you need to focus. Focus on: not too fast, slowly develop taekook realtionship, show how they got closer, not too many fast forward. Good luck! And don't worry about the views, they will come with time!
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lutfieskenderi

And i actually like "extra service". I like your writing there, and the plot is the one i like the most. It's neat and the story is not going too fast. I will add that to my reading list. I think it's the best one you have, even if it has the least views.
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