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I want to die. I want to die.i want to die. I'm such a shitty person. I've been putting off goig near my friends because I'm fucking scared, I was ditched then apologised to. I had a fight. I feel like I'm losing everyone and I'm so scared. Like I know it's my fault, it's always my fault. I can't help it. Then I pretend like it's okay,like it doesn't affect me. But it's fucking killing me inside. And I don't know what to do. Like I'm sitting here with my fucking cat typing this when I could be actually doing somethig with my life. I just can't even fucking try anymore. What am I going to do?I don't know.i don't know.i don't know. I told a lie to a psychiatrist that could affect my entire life. I'm lying to everyone everyday saying that I'm fine after finding out something,but I'm not. I'm not okay.i'm not okay. And I keep getting panic attacks, on the edge of one right now. That probably why I'm typing this. I'm so stupid. I'll regret posting this. I regret everything I do. You know what? Fuck it, I'll post it. No one will see. I'll live. I think.