WallGoop

Haha anyways  yeah um.,,, prime defenders jrwi,,,. vat7k,,,, fandom bull ,,,idk.... normal words... Read my new years post idk what're you lookin at ..,,,

WallGoop

this message may be offensive 
you know its not like I've ever been diagnosed by a professional but I show a lot of signs of either NPD or bipolar and despite them both being cluster B they're very different so yk. It's the "delusions of grandeur" that are really speaking to me. Like I didn't inexplicably feel like a god among men two weeks ago, you know? The realisation that a "personality" disorder doesn't actually changs your core values and innermost self made a lot of things majr more sense, I tell you. Like my natural response to becoming a god is that the state of the world is my responsibility and I need to figure out a way to save as many of these poor unenlightened souls from the corrupt systems that rule them and/or their own shortcomings immediately. All this stemmed from my aforementioned vat7k brainrot (another fun fact: autism tends to rule your life, if you have it, you can't analyse yourself the same way you analyse the general population. Makes sense since comparing an individual with a mass collective are insanely different). As everyone in this fandom does, I decided to try my hand at writing the series myself (hows it going? Uhh no comment). Big thing about this story is that they're travelling across a continent, one of thems a princess, another is a criminal, the main character was a villain for a good chunk of the canon series, and I've got literally EVERY OTHER VAT7K CREATIF to compare myself with as i write. Plus everyonethinks the og executiveproducer was dumb dumb. (continues bc I need therapy lol)

WallGoop

this message may be offensive 
And my basis for these beliefs were.a fuckibg. Community collab fanfiction. Of a children's show available on Disney plus. It's not even gravity falls I can't charge bill cipher fir possession this one's all on me. Its pathetic in a funny way but honestly this isn't the first time this has happened.  It just went on for fuckibg AGES like I can't remember not feeling so much better than everyone else and it's weird. It's like a presence in my ribcage that's pale yellow chalk, that in some lights could be mistaken for gold. It's weird. The only reason I've been able to pin down these feelings is because they've stuck around for so long rly. Before they were just fleeting bursts. They used to even hurt people, real cluster b shit yknow,  but I'm smart. I know that holding onto pride only damages people's perceptions of you and causes you unnecessary burden, so I fucking got rid of it in half a year and now I guess I've replaced it with responsibility,  that I then replaced with apathy. Have I ever used scorn? I can't remember. Basically I think I'm a genius and it's probably a mental disorder or some shit wtf why the fuvkibg he'll am I posting this to literal wattpad wtf
• Reply

WallGoop

this message may be offensive 
...So I went in with the mindset of "I need to approach this with a down-to-earth view, with a good understanding of how history, society,and people in general work.". Varian (the mc) was beloved by the fans because of his believable and complex there-and-back-again villain-to-hero arc in an otherwise straightforward show, and so I needed to make something where the four main characters were equally complicated, and grew and changed significantly during the story. Then there's the "and the 7 kingdoms" part, so queue up hours of worldbuilding backbones on a history book and magic system that "mY source Is I mADE it the FuCk uP", and the geology is relevant entirely because I didn't want explosion kid to come from "basically china" that's lazy af he lives in a bayou now fuk u. See I've gotten really distracted here THE POInT IS I convinced myself that, not only did I have a deep, nuanced, perfectly accurate view of the world and humanity as a whole, but that I understand these things infinitely more than everyone else and that I'm the smartest person in the world. Sounds stupid to type it out but like you should try being me and not feeling that. I'm going to explain the views one day now now I'm tired but soon, you'll understand then. I've achieved literal enlightenment SEE IM FICKING DOING IT AGAIN (continues still)
• Reply

WallGoop

anyways the varigo brainrot, moominvalley brainrot, and countless abandoned half-done projects from my last fandom are treating me well aahahahaaaihavesomanytabsopen

WallGoop

*varigo, for you poor uneducated little orphans of 2020s fandom culture, being a ship name from the ONLY acceptable Disney Canon that is entirely ruled by its fandom since its the fabled Show That Was Never Made, "Varian and the seven kingdoms", often abbreviated to Vat7k
• Reply

WallGoop

Honestly new year's coming up and I just feel like I'm waiting for the end of the world.  Like I'm just sitting here biding my time until something inevitable, irreversible, and ultimately world changing rolls around, and like... what am I supposed to do? I can't stop it. There's nothing I can do. But it still lingers in my mind and sits behind my eyelids, and shadows every action I preform. Easiest thing I can do is cut off all my thoughts and feelings, bury myself in fiction and let the numbness marinate my very core. Except that never really works for long, and so I'm back, sleepless and helpless and thinking, "you know, if nobody else is upset about it, surely that makes it no big deal.". And somehow that thought is never enough.

WallGoop

Sometimes the notification circle appears in the bottom left of my pfp and it looks like Kian’s trying to smoke an orange. Just, a massive orange, the size of his head, and he’s like “hell yeah. I could smoke that.”. Which is perfectly in character for him. my blorbo little idiotic bean I love him