bye.

leaving.
          
          i feel like i barely have nothing else to do here.
          i'm getting bored. 
          i'll probably be here for a while for fanfics, but other than that, i'm gone.
          
          life is hard, i've got so much to do and... well, it's... it's daunting on me as i know i'm about to repeat my grade, i know it's my fault, i'm a disappointment after all. 
          
          to those who followed me when i still wrote stories before, sorry for letting you down.
          to everyone who needed me, sorry for letting you down. 
          
          to those who stayed despite my stupid breakdowns and cared from the start, thank you, but i'm leaving once more. 
          forget i existed, if you'd mind.
          
          goodbye, and i'm sorry. 

Did I cry my eyes out earlier?
          Wha- no, totally not.
          
          Was it because Rocket, my pet cat was dead and now forever gone?
          Maybe. 
          
          Was I a bad owner? 
          Yes, absolutely. 
          
          I'm stressed, I'm really stressed and I still can't get over her own death, I already was dead inside before she came into my life, and when just when I thought I would feel genuine happiness again, life took her away and now my heart just feels even more empty and destroyed. 
          
          This entire thing, the pandemic, I REALLY hate it, who doesn't? I have to deal with online goddamn school. And not only that, I have to make sure I update on a regular basis, which I never did in the first place and become active in all the command games and roleplays I'm in.
          
          Seriously, I want to take a goddamn break, I'm tired, I really am. Sorry if this sounds dramatic or whatever or if I wasted your time reading this, I needed to vent badly.

She's gone. 
          My calico kitten is gone. 
          She's dead. 
          She's dead and she's never coming back to me. 
          
          I'll always miss you, Rocket.