Im gonna cut brief .. i have ended 4 yr realtionship with him
Now the before the reason i would tell you my story
He fall love in first sight .. he approached things happened i said yes . After short time i broke up i admit it was silly reason and i was not mature enough. He chatted with me through my friend’s and his friend’s id not me knowing its him . Basically he was trying to make me feel sympathy and come back , it worked .
this time he was very different, in starting we had lots of fights cuz he got jealoused to boys i talked i said ok i wont talk and i avoid every male . Then fights come up with my past . he was my first but he used to fight on that how friendly i used to be with boys
Then i treated him bad becuz i left him before
Things happened i regretted .. i felt i dont deserve him, i thought ok I’ll do my best
But .. i kept feeling not enough
He was -you are best ’but’ if you do that ..
i know people get jealous
I just want to know is it normal to get mad cuz i just randomly.. unintentionally saw some stranger happened to be a boy
He told me i should not even look at boys.. like focus on shoes at face
i actually did that so that i can deserve him i guess
one fight , he was mad because i mistaken saw classmate . He asked why did my brain focused their
I used to provide every little detail . if someone talked to me ..if handshake or touch .how much secondss did the other person touched .. i used to get scolded accordingly
now living by hating yourself and always being the only one wrong was hard
Like if i tried to bring my point out i felt somehow conversation turned making me still wrong
First 1-2 yrs I didn’t say anything i was obedient
But his demands never stopped
At a point i got tired i tried self love and everything and maybe when i started to love myself prioritise myself
I became selfish for him
I felt as if i lost affection i broke up with him now
Now there is a lot more to say
But first please tell me thoughts on these
