WhatBringsDeath
Dropping my book this weekend!! Probably
litamatxcha
@WhatBringsDeath even though I don't know what the book is about I'm excited for it!! Cant wait!
WhatBringsDeath
WhatBringsDeath
Still pissed.
Another year. Another number. 17. Honestly. I'm just more pissed off than ever. Still drowning in this lack of self-complacency, still fighting the urge to "self-destruct". Every single day is a battle against my own mind, and I'm so damn tired of losing.
Is this what 17 is supposed to feel like? Or 16? Or 15? Or 14? Or 13? When does it kick in? When am I supposed to start appreciating myself? I see others who've had it so much worse, WAY worse and yet they find satisfaction? This is some absolute bull. Why can't I find joy in my own damn achievements anymore? Is this what "growing up" feels like? I fear hell and most days I'm terrified of the pain of s h but I still do it. Why am I so pathetic? I hate this. I don't want to go to hell. May Allah forgive me for doing these haram things. I hate this so much.
In summary: Happy Birthday to me, I guess, can't wait for ANOTHER YEAR OF THIS. Om f—
WhatBringsDeath
On paper I'm "achieving" I may very well graduate highschool with a bachelor's, I've got good grades, a good and growing GPA. But, still why do I lack any sort of self compliancy? When does this feel different? Maybe I'm just being a little bitch about it. Or idk maybe only people with perfectionist parents understand? They push you to do good, to be good, but the actual "doing good" part. Like, the achievement itself is met with a lackluster reaction. Idk there's more to it than this, 'illegal wise' but I do not feel comfortable enough to share a lot lollll
WhatBringsDeath
I've been gone for months and not ONE author (whose books I read) has updated. Someone sedate me.
sofiwon
i miss u
sofiwon
@WhatBringsDeath we dont talk about what happened in april *says with black cloak on, ominous music playing in the background* in all seriousness I MISSED YOU. we should talk sometime fr.
WhatBringsDeath
I was super surprised to see your comment btw given before I left you weren't active on discord at all what happened?:((
sofiwon
hi
WhatBringsDeath
@sofiwon I resorted to using my school iPad... Just getting it back now near the END of summer break:((
WhatBringsDeath
Sorry, I was grounded from my phone for months and by the time I was ungrounded my dad completely lost my phone. My grandpa ended up buying me a new one!
WhatBringsDeath
IM LITERALLY SO BORED PLEASE I NEED ONE OF MY FAVORITE CH AUTHORS TO WRITE FCHGJCYGJGHD !!!!
sofiwon
GIRL ...... check your discord
sofiwon
hi! i would to talk to you about being a co-author. my discord is "sofiwon" btw <3
WhatBringsDeath
Hey! Thanks for reaching out. I’d love to hear more about what you have in mind for co-authoring. Tomorrow would work best for me to discuss possible involvement and for both of us to share work examples, since I’m currently studying for my comparative anatomy test on Monday. Feel free to message me on Discord—my username is red_planet.! I’ll be sure to add you as well:))
WhatBringsDeath
CH twitter is so toxic:/