Ah, yes...me.

Don't pretend you don't care about me. The sheer fact that you are willingly reading these words proves that statement wrong. After all, why read the 'about me' if you don't give a damn about that particular person?

Exactly.

And now that I am in your head, let me tell you a thrilling story. The story of me. Or I could tell you a story about someone else entirely, couldn't I? You don't know me. You wouldn't know the difference between the two.

Leverage. Leverage indeed.

But I shan't waste your time with my nonsense any longer. You came here to learn about me, and so I shall have to tell you some things about me, I suppose.

I write. Something else you knew. Honestly, I really must be ever so difficult to work with if all I am telling you is things you already knew. I must be the most annoying person on the entirety of planet Earth. Which should bring me to my third and final thrilling fact about myself.

I live on Earth.

'No shit,' you think to yourself. And then you wonder how I can ever live with myself, considering how tediously puzzling I seem to be. And you would be right, of course. Even I find it almost impossible to live with myself, and so I really must question how I do it. Although it appears that I succeed rather well, for here I am, alive and well, speaking with you.

Or am I?

For all you know, I could have died years ago. Months ago. Weeks ago. Days ago. Perhaps even as your eyes first looked upon my profile and began to read these words my heart gave out and I fell to the ground in a crumple heap. For all you know, that is exactly what happened, and I shan't be here to tell you whether you are right or wrong. The only way you would ever know is by being me.

And I know you're not.