WhomstveDoneIt

If you juggle in the dark, your ball may end up under the treadmill. You can't be sure, it's too dark to see. Solution? Get a ball detector for the treadmill. Infrared ball proximity beeper. 
          
          Beep! Says the IBPB.
          
          Shit! Says the man who hasn't dropped his ball yet. 
          
          What's under the treadmill?

I wouldn't mind being shrunk down to five centimeters tall and placed on a warm loaf of bread. I wouldn't mind that at all.

Check out Le Nouveau by museaway

You bite into a beautiful crisp apple and realize it's foam. 
          You look up, and realize you are in an old church. You've seen it before. 
          A wave of nostalgia hits you.
           Your grandma is making fruit baskets for the community meal.
           You realize all the fruit is fake, but you don't have the heart to tell her this.
          You imagine the embarrassment she would feel and it makes you very, very sad.
          She worked so hard. She arranged them so carefully. 
          Very sad indeed.

Cats are like toasters. You aren't supposed to stick a fork in them.

Harry Potter an the Sympathy of Souls by Ray_MOON_

Ello gov'nor