It is I! The great and powerful William Shakespeare. As a snake (Because the username shakespeare was taken and I'm pretty sure the actually shakespeare was a snake back in the olden days ;). I'm back baby.

A little biography.
I was born from a woman a long time ago
I married the princess of Genovia 
I had some kids
Named one Hamnet
Hamnet died
There was a world wide pandemic 
I created a couple of plays 
Used a bunch of made up words
Everyone thought I died
But I lived, bith!

Some of my works:
Hamlet: A story about two pigs
Romeo and Juliet: 2 Italians commit suicide after only knowing each other for three days
MacBeth: A story about a forgotten McDonald's item
King Henry 1,2,3,4,5: A story about all the Henrys 
50 Shades of Play: a short how-to on play-writing 

 
Some frequently (never) asked questions

Why are you on wattpad?
I'm gay

How does COVID-19 compare to the Black Plague?
Pretty much the same. We had to stay inside and not be around lots of people. It was scary and dangerous. At least, now we have porn.

How old are you?
At least four.

Are you writing anything new?
Yes, I'm writing a short autobiography in Japanese about the menstrual cycle of a boar and how to combat Lyme disease with machete. I think it's going to be a big hit.

What's your favorite invention?
I really like those cloth coverings on toilets. Very convenient. 

Do you speak spanish?
No, me no speako espagnolo. S'il-vous-plait. Si.

Do you speak any other langauge?
Yes, I speak Shakespearean English: we dort wirsh Dorsey thymine thee yonder thine feevernt neigh neigh. 

Are you free tonight?
I'm free all the time. I'm a white man.