@Willowsinthefield
i watched uptown girls today and i bawled for like an hour then i checked ratings and shit 6.2 on imdb?! girl how the fuckk its deserves a 9 at the least
girlies- im in a coffee shop working on college assignments and theres candy shop playing and yall- THEIR RUG IS PURPLE HELP-
after a really really long time i finally feel a little better and .....happy? lol idk this is a weird feeling. I got into a top university of fashion and its been my dream college since i was 9. And in about 6 weeks i'll be out of my parents place place living about a 1000miles away.
i’m so fucking happy for you what?!? been rooting for you this whole time, really am so glad you are doing better❤️ and that’s actually so exciting for you oml you can finally move away! and to a whole ass top fashion uni like thats crazy?? genuinely feeling so proud rn, girl you are incredible. you deserve every single second of happiness you could possibly get, plus a hell of a lot more<3
tw: sh
i wanted this post to about how im two months clean starting january. its the longest i've been clean. i fuckking hate that i have to start over again and i really dont want to even stop cutting anymore. But i kind of need help with covering it up and healing the scars quickly so please suggest somethingv
literally so proud of you for staying clean that long?! pawpaw ointment/vaseline is really good for fast healing, and try to keep them covered with a bandaid or medical tape for at least a few days<3
Tw: bulimia SH cutting
I literally cannot do this anymore. I'm done trying my best to fulfill my parents expectations when I'm barely ble to get myself out of bed everyday. It's all just too much. I really thought my dad was in my corner until he fucking snapped due to something at work telling me how dumb and stupid i am for choosing the wrong fucking major in college. He thinks i don't fucking understand how bloody important it is for me to get into a proper college next year and he is taking every fucking bit of his frustration on me. As if I'm not trying so fucking hard to focus and study and just pushing myself till i break. I really fucking thought at least he was in my corner nad now i really know what he thinks. He talks about how i should not be emotional and stop my tears when he is speaking the most hurtful shit to my fucking face. And my mom says how ungrateful i am and how much money they're spending on me and then have the audacity to ask why i feel like a burden all the fucking time
I fucking cry every single night. Im cutting again and i cannot fucking stop. The only thing i have control over is my food and i fucking throw it all up all the time. I really thought in the last week that i was getting better but ofc fucking not.
At this point i think it's better if i just end it all. It's better for my parents too i guess and honestly it's better for everyone to not have such a fucking burden in their lives.
@Willowsinthefield so serious when i say i am so so proud of you for staying clean a while babes, always gonna be here if you ever need to vent❤️
@larryskindagay i want to thank you for this. your words actually made me feel so much better and i could stay clean for some time before too much shit happened
don’t you fucking dare, you mean so much to me okay? sh AND an ed on top of it is such a fucking hard thing to be going through, and i feel for you so much hun, but if you let yourself go now, then all this will have been for nothing. the fact that you have held on for this long is a testimony to how insanely strong you are!! and i’m so incredibly proud of you for that, not many people are as brave as you. life is good, but it has some extremely low parts, and when you’re in those times, you have to remember that your present/past does not equal your future alright? you are absolutely beautiful and smart and have SO much to offer, you are a literal gift and a ray of light to so many people, the absolute opposite of a burden, you are a blessing<3 you are going through something, you are not getting stuck in it. there is always sun after the night, and you will get better if you want to try. find some people who will treat you right and hold on tight to them. recovery is never a straight line, remember the good old ‘two steps forward, one step back’.
heres this quote that’s been helping me so much with my own recovery -
“if I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is still wheat, even if people think it is grass in the beginning.”
you are worth the world now, and i’m praying you’ll be able to see how precious you are later on, if you just stay strong in yourself❤️ things never look clear in the dark, try not to trust your emotions right now. you don’t have to be better straight away, you don’t have to always be right, you don’t have to be happy all the time, and you absolutely do not have to fit your life to the expectations of the people around you!! you’re allowed to just exist and heal for a while. message me whenever you need to talk or to be heard ay, love you xx
i felt like i should rant
the past few days has been so damn stressful with college and me preparing for a diff college exam next year. i'm leaving home at 7 30 everyday and coming back at 9 30 pm except for a day or two. its so damn stressful but i have to attend all these classes and travel back and forth college and extra classes that are like 2 hours apart. i know it doesnt seem much but im crying most days in washrooms nd what not. last day i couldnt even control it. i was crossing a subway and i started crying. like in public and it was so embarrassing and i couldnt even stop. i didnt make a sound but my tears wouldnt stop and i kept crying for almost the whole ride home via metro and road. its just a lot and really nothing is helping. i feel so down all the time and i feel like im letting my parents down again cuz im not bieng able to focus much on my classes but its just so damn much rn and i cant take mental pressure of it
@Willowsinthefield Hey, first of all you are not letting your parents down, you are not only a student, you are a person, your worth isn't defined by how you handle school. secondly crying is normal and i know it's hard to think like this but like it's a positive thing that you cry because it's a way to let go of a part of your stress and anything else you can feel, and also fuck what people think if you cry you are NOT weak because it means you care and you try your best even if it don't always feels like it now i don't know how it is to be in college so i hope i won't say shit but you're obviously need to rest a bit more and to take care of yourself, maybe talk to a friend or a family member about what you feel and ask for help to find solutions to reassure you and i don't know if you do any sports but maybe it could help you get your mind of all that stuff sometimes ? cause like you seem to don't have any free time but maybe (idk it's just a thought) you could study a bit less to find so time to take care of yourself and then you'd be less anxious so you would be more efficient while studying and you wouldn't need as much time as you do now. I really hope you're gonna feel better soon, and if you wanna talk don't hesitate remember you're stronger than you think and you're loved <3
JUST READ THE BODYGAURD BY @itstilliswhatitis AND IM IN LOVE!!!
only shitty asf biscuits-
there's no maggi in the house
i wanna eat maggi
