10.03.2026
I'd been holed up in my home for two years. Consider it mild depression or this weird unwillingness to face real life. Self study is a bitch. Especially when you're alone. You'd expect me to say Enha kept me afloat. In reality, I don't know if it kept me afloat or made me satisfied with this living. Either way, I know I smiled the most while watching them. I fell prey to the same parasocial relationship I thought I was too smart for.
It took a good while to get back up. After stalling it for months, I went to my college today to collect my graduation certificates. I dressed up, did my hair well. Felt good about myself after so long.
And I come home to this headline.
I'm writing this message with swollen eyes. I need to clean my glasses because the tears have left marks. This is a wake-up call to focus on real life. Celebrities aren't going to give me a better life. They definitely aren't therapists. After crying for two hours straight, I'm going to look at the bright side of this, however small.
TFW will still continue. I'm not sure if you guys would want to read it. But it's a part of me and a part of my writing passion that I want to pursue in the future. Maybe the words will flow more dramatically because of how strongly I feel about Heeseung's departure.
On a side note, if Belift made him do this by force, I hope the company goes bankrupt in the worst scandal of history. If it's his own call, after six whole years with his group and Fandom who doted on him, I wish him all the best. Maybe someday, I can be myself to take a look at his solo projects. But that's just a new artist. Not the Lee Heeseung I've been seeing for the past five years.
The old Enhypen is gone.
The old fan in me is gone too.