20 ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity:

1: At lunch time, sit in your car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars; see if they slow down.

2: Page yourself over the intercom. Do not disguise your voice.

3: Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

4: Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".

5: Put decaf in the coffee maker (home or work). When everyone gets over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

6: In your memo book, on all your checks, put "FOR SMUGGLING DIAMONDS".

7: Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance To The Prophecy".

8: Dont use any punctuation

9: As often as possible, skip instead of walking.

10: Order diet water whenever you go out with a serious face.

11: Specify that your drive-thru order is "TO GO".

12: Sing along at the opera.

13: Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14: Put mosquito netting around your work area (or room) and play tropical sounds all day.

15: 5 days in advance, tell your friend that you can't go to their party cause you don't 'feel like it'.

16: Have friends or coworkers address you by your wrestling name "Rock Bottom".

17: When the cash comes out of the ATM yell, "I WON, I WON!"

18: When exiting the zoo, start running toward the parking lot, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

19: Tell your children (or younger siblings) that "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

20: If one of your parents neighbors has a dog, steal it and leave it on your parent's door as a 'gift'. Wait for the neighbor to freak out, after they do go to that neighbor and give an anonymous tip on who stole their dog. Wait for your masterpiece to come together.