I’m going to give you something I’m not very trusting in sharing, but from what I can tell it sounds like you really need: My Number.
I know you don’t use IG too much so I’m not sure if what I have to share with you will reach you that way, but if you really need it just let me know and I’ll give it to you so that I can share via text.
However, like I said I’m nervous giving it to others, especially over SM or online (not that I’ve ever done that before so this’ll be a first). But if you ABSOLUTELY need it, to share, to talk, to vent, then you’re the only one I trust to give if you ask.
(Though personally I think you should openly vent to us like you are now even after, because we ALL care about you.)