this message may be offensive
Do you ever just start thinking you want to disappear but like then just start over thinking it? You just get so tired of everything what's happening, you're so stressed, and everything, do you want to just disappear, but then you just saw thinking about, thank your friends and stuff? Like you start thinking, like people won't care and think like you've messed up, you've told your best friend you love them, but they're older than you, and you haven't talked to the then for so long, and they're not even interested in having a relationship, and so you're broke that friendship? And you rarely speak to your other friends anymore, and so you've broken those friendships, but you also have a relationship already with a lovely person, but you don't even know how to talk to them? So then you start thinking that maybe it's just better if you disappear, but then you also started thinking people will blame themselves and so they disappear too? Like nothing is okay, you're not fucking okay, your life isn't fucking okay?! But it's not like you can talk to anyone because you don't want to talk to your friends, because you don't want to be a burden to them, and you can't talk to your parents because you fear how they'll react? Because they're always talking about how back in their day, there was no such thing as mental illnesses, everyone was so fucking happy?? And then you start thinking you're going fucking crazy and you don't know what to fucking do? You're jealous of your friends, you're jealous of your siblings, you're jealous of your parents, you're jealous of people you don't even fucking know!? So you start to disappear.... And it's not like anyone will care but you also fear that they will care.....
