Toni

Well, I'm out of school now... and I'm looking for a new job... why aren't I writing?

There, I posted a glimpse of my blocked out dilemma. 
          Of the words I can never seem to write
           from the worlds I want to create. 
          When I should be writing my essays... 
          Keeping my A's in place...
          -   -   -   -   -   -
          
          Doors open, doors close.
          It's worse when those doors open and lead you nowhere.
          Where do you walk when you're going nowhere?
          Forwards? Backwards? Do you stand still?
          Well, I refuse to stand still. 
          I almost can't.
          How funny is that.
          Everything just keeps moving.
          Time leaves you behind.
          Run. Catch up. Fall behind. Stay down. Get up.
          Whatever you gotta do. 
          
          Just check out my empty writings.
          Getting me nowhere.
          When I wanted to take them everywhere
          With me. 
          
          Writers block.
          Blocked off from writing. 
          Not by myself...
          I'm always by myself. 
          Except when he's around...
          But, then, why would I bother to write?
          When every world I could dream about creating
          Lives in his eyes.
          Beats in his heart beneath my ear.
          Within his chest.
          
          But, in literature, that gets me nowhere.
          My heart is happy.
          My heart aches.
          Something missing.
          Always a hole.
          My pen doesn't flow anymore.
          It's not my choice.
          
          It's not my choice... 
          
          
          
          
          ... not sure where that all came from... but, there it is. A piece of my heart maybe? Sporadic and confused. Overwhelmed. Weary, maybe.
           Poetic? Nah. But, raw. Real. Whether it is understood or ignored. 
          Who reads this stuff anyway? Are you even there? Did you make it this far? 
          Well... thanks to you. I'm fine, really. I'm not really lonely. But, I do spend a heck of a lot of time alone. Maybe that's not so bad....
          
          ... whatever, I'll work on my essays in the morning.

welcome to my page filled with staircases that lead to nowhere and doors that open to incompleteness... Enter at your own risk.  -Toni

Just forget about me for a while... School started and I haven't the time to read anything besides a textbook - let around write anything but notes. 
          
          So, I'll just be under my rock with my classes... bye for now, loves ^_^~~

I don't know if it's just being out of practice, but going through the process of trying to write my story... ugh, I just feel like an awful writer! *sigh..*

Honestly, I'd like to address all of my lovely followers (I don't even know how there are seven of you, but I love you ^-^). I have literally published nothing, yet I have so many ideas and stories-starters shoved off in the "My Works" tab... They're just sitting there collecting dust and yet here you are. So, I really just wanted to say thank you for sticking around my seemingly inactive page <3 I promise you that I will get something going. 
          
          @LovexThexWorld and I actually decided to collaborate and make a shared page (@Paper0Thin) and we have started writing a fanfic for The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, so if any of my followers happen to be a Zelda nerd (maybe even if you're not, we could use some love, anyway 8]) you may want to check us out and we should have the first chapter posted pretty soon ^-^  Just saying ;)
          
          Anyway, I'm done letting my work collect dust; I really want to get somewhere. I love to write! it's just with school coming back up and when I was working, I had no time. Now, I've had the time, I've simply spent it literally just cleaning and reading! 'xD 
          
          So, all I'm saying is I'm going to try and get, at least, one of my plethora of story ideas flowing from My Works to published - so when a chapter 1 is finished you'll see it and I'll continue from there. I think my problem is that I jump from idea to idea and leave others behind and I, honestly, find myself more interested in making the cover for my story idea rather than getting said idea on paper *-* Just be patient with me as I get one of these ideas going <3 I'm a little out of practice, now.. {8
          
          Okay, I'm sorry, I'm rambling insanely 'xD  I just wanted some sort of way to get myself motivated and connected with you guys. So, wish me luck ':]  I'm not going to keep neglecting y'all or my stories.... see you in another life