Okay, so um, I can't really explain the reason why, but I began to feel dissatisfied with how I wrote 'Child of Immortals'. Don't get me wrong, I don't regret writing it, but after I reread a couple of fan fictions in my library, I just kind of felt disappointed at how I wrote it.
It makes me want to unpublish it and rewrite it, but I know that if I do that, it'd probably remain unpublished for years and I don't want that. I mean "Broken" and my other earlier works, the ones I had been planning to rewrite and publish again, are still in my drafts without any progress.
I feel bad for them, you know. It makes me want to publish them as is and then just publish its rewrite another time when I finally get to it. But the first original chapter of "Broken", the Attack on Titan fanfic I wrote and published before "Child of Immortals", is gone. Just nada.
If I do republish it, it will begin with the second chapter because I did all the attempted rewrites in Wattpad directly. Which means that the original has been lost beneath all the other revisions. It was a stupid decision on my part, but it has been done and I can't undo it.
I probably should have never unpublished all my first few works for rewrites. This is kind of a regret of mine. But at the same time, it makes me cringe because my writing style back then was messy. I think it still is.
I want to unpublish, but at the same time I don't. Like I want to be better, but I don't want to disappoint at the same time because there are some here on this platform that say my writing is beautiful.
I'm torn and it makes me want to cry. I don't feel satisfied with the way I write, but at the same time I don't want to return everything that I've written back into the drafts where it'll just collect dust like all the others.
