There are days where I feel like the words flow right out of me onto the page. Like I can become one with my writings and convey a deeper meaning than what they are taken for at surface level. Then there are the days I sit and stare at my screen waiting for something…anything. Recently the world’s been too loud to get words on a page and my thoughts down in writing. I write this as a mini note about myself, letting it be read by the public (you). I crave to be poetic. I crave to be seen in my own writing. I crave the freeness from my own reality I get writing a couple sentences. It’s too loud here. I turn around and there’s a new thing I must do, a new responsibility I must carry, a new face I must get along with, a new purpose, a new empty space that doesn’t understand how to fill back up. Whether it’s because I miss writing or because I miss the attention from the person I love most, I’m not too sure. Staying busy doesn’t help. I come home tired, see his face everywhere, try to burry myself in work or something else to ignore my thoughts and feelings. But how can I write with true depth if I push down the emotions that help you, the reader, understand me? I don’t quite understand what I mean anymore, but I know you will. Sometimes emotions just need to be down on a pages and seen for a process to begin.
Let’s see if I can break this cycle, hm?