Stuck

Your art is amazing 

I don’t know why I haven’t been following you already what the fuck??!!!!
          
          Anyways sorry bout that I love ur art and you

Good morning world! Oh? Another serving of dysphoria for breakfast? Okay!
          
          What's that? The only food we have is dysphoria? I'll take it! With that glass of anxiety sitting in the fridge!
          
          Leftovers of stress and piling problems from yesteryear for lunch and diner too? Cool!
          
          Can I have death for desert? No? Oh... okay...

strike me down
          
          let my pain dissolve to nothing
          
          im sick of feeling sick all the time.
          
          
          
          my mind is an unrecognizable mess
          
          a mass of surging, arguing thoughts ready to burst
          
          and fear creeps up my spine too often for me to hold it back
          
          
          
          time is nothing, and interest is non existent
          
          im not who i am, and i dont know who i could ever be
          
          ive slipped away too many times to count
          
          
          
          they tell me not to, they tell me that ill make it
          
          well its easier to give that advice than to take it
          
          so all i can do is fake it through the day, trying so hard to make myself believe this artificial happiness
          
          
          
          but ive done it for too long, empty and numb yet able to feel the color gray
          
          light is nowhere to be seen, my shell enveloped in a dying darkness
          
          and I want to reset this madness.

I'm taking the iron out of Female
          
          Geddit? Iron? Fe is the atomic symbol for iron?
          
          No?
          
          Okay

I need to stop

"Broken" by Lund
          
          The numbness didnt go away this morning. Or all day. Nothing's bringing my feeling back, not even music. I'll probably vent more about it tonight. But, my mom read me like an open book and is now worried, to my discomfort. I'm too drained to keep up a content façade or stop myself from telling her that I was indeed numb all day.
          
          I'm not ready to tell them why this was triggered. But they'll guilt trip me into telling them anyway, I know they will.
          
          I still don't know how to feel, though. I just know I'll regret things when I wake from this mindset.

this is honestly so hopeless
          
          such a sad place in a sea of thousands of others
          
          the back of my mind tells me that me addedto that number makes me annoying
          
          and that makes it worse.
          
          ive been raised a certain way all my life that it hurts to be stuck in its habits. i just want to understand.
          
          i cant think anymore at this point
          
          goodnight

i need help but im terrified and lost
          so
          
          thats gonna be difficult

[) y $ p |-| Ø R ¡ @
          
          sucks