☆ 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋 ☆

This year has been a lot. From in group friendship drama to outside family problems and more. It’s all been so stressful, and half of it still is. But against all odds, I’ve overcome every obstacle in my way and made it this far. I turned 18 years old and graduated high school on the same day, the 23rd of May.
          
          I’m going to miss all those years that I left behind—all that time spent so fast, yet felt so equally dragging. I know there are going to be times, like now, when I wish those days didn’t end. Where I was still in school with my friends, maybe not free to do whatever I wanted, but enough to not worry so much about the responsibilities and problems of adulthood and the future.
          
          But then I’ll remind myself of how much I worked to get that diploma, how many years spent depressed and miserable in school too, and how the phone ban will be effective starting next year (sucks for the future generation of students/graduates). And when I remember what I have now, a supportive family and friends still in contact, I won’t feel so lost and hopeless.
          
          Of course, I’m not giving up on writing or drawing—but it’ll stay as a side hobby, always. For the future, I’m planning on getting a job (preferably stocking in a clothing department), applying for National Guard, and hopefully getting into a college with those benefits (haven’t figured out which college yet).
          
          I’ll update every once in a while when I can, but for now my focus is primarily on those things. So yeah, wish me luck and I’ll see where life takes me.

Hey Soph,
          
          It’s been a while since we last spoke. I’ve been curious and a bit nervous about what you’ve been up to. I know it’s probably weird, awkward, or maybe even uncomfortable having me reach out to you again, but we’re about to leap into one of the biggest parts of our lives and I can’t just ignore and leave something hanging.
          
          I know it was a rough time for both of us when we first met, and I wasn’t treating you right nor thinking of your feelings. I pushed it aside thinking it was okay, and I never really cared to hear you out properly. Looking back on it now, I feel stupid for taking advantage of the kindness and time you gave me.
          
          I hope you do get to read this. Whether you choose to respond back or not, I’ll respect whatever option you choose. I just hope you’re doing well from the last time we properly spoke. I truly do.
          
          And happy early birthday. I still remember it’s the 23rd of May.

Happy 20th birthday. Wish you the best years of your life, and to meet new faces to remember. I still miss you. Love you always and forever.
          
          - your cousin, Sophie ♡

Not sure how I should begin this
          But I guess I can say that I have a few regrets
          To make things clear, I’ll start
          For one, I know that I have a fault in my part. I should’ve never said yes, I should’ve known better.
          But I wish you never suggested it, or even thought about it. You should’ve stopped yourself before you could say it, and you should’ve shut it down as soon as you got on the bed.
          But here’s the truth: we never did say no to what we chose to do together.
          And two, I sometimes wish I never cut ties with you. I miss you more with each friendship I see, each friend I don’t have, and every little thing that reminds me of you.
          And I also miss the old times of every video we watched, every art piece we saw and made, and every toy we touched.
          So let me just say, I don’t hate you. And I could never hate you. In fact, I love you.
          You were my best friend. My girlhood. The sister I never had.
          We were girls together.
          Now those days, and our relationship, is long gone.
          But, in my heart and on the internet are the memories. And that’s where you’ll always be, and where I’ll always find you.

You know it’s getting bad again when the weather starts turning cold.

It doesn’t even feel like it actually happened in current time, it all seems like something that would be written down in 19th century history books, not X tweets. It all just seems so hopeless and scary at the same time. Charlie Kirk’s death was only two weeks ago, a day before the 11th of September, and yet it feels like it happened just yesterday. I’ve seen videos of people celebrating the death of a normal man, vandalizing his memorial, justifying his assassination, not giving a crap, leaving the left, and the biggest non-violent protests I’ve ever seen in both London and North Korea. I even saw the real uncensored video of him getting shot, and I am appalled and terrified by how desensitized all these freaks are.
          
          And there’s a bunch of bullshit about how he deserved it written on the bathroom stalls of my school too. I can’t even take a shit in peace without thinking about what my country is coming to. The thought of these psychopaths publicly cheering for the deaths of people like Charlie Kirk, people like my dad and I, scares me more than I’d like to admit.
          
          R.I.P to Charlie Kirk, and my condolences to his family, his strong wife and his daughter especially. I hope they both stay safe and loving, 
          
          The only positive thing that came out of this tragedy, as a result of Kirk’s death, was the affect it had on the world; uniting different people from all over the globe to speak up louder and use their voice, just as many other devastating events had once done before. If only Charlie could be here to see it.

I knew it. I always felt like there was something off about her. All the SA jokes in her shows (HB & HH) and how she hired someone with a literal gr*pe fetish to work on Poison. Maybe this doesn’t “confirm” my suspicions or anyone else’s, but it’s definitely enough to amplify them.
          (It’s her official YT channel and deviant art btw)
          https://youtube.com/playlist?list=FL-mv59SyvkVu5rWJq9IZrXg&si=CqKZqekC8OzL-rSM

It’s been a while, but I’ve finally hit some sort of inspiration. I’ve decided to move on from Hazbin Hotel and officially discontinue my old radiodust fanfic, instead I want to focus more on my own original works. Currently we don’t have enough insurance to continue paying for my therapy, so music is all I have left again. Mitski and Pastel Ghost are both helping, sort of, but having real life friends that I could actually connect with would be nicer.

I really don’t get the hate for radiodust. I’ve been seeing so much hate and negativity towards the ship and even though it’s not even my otp anymore and I’ve mostly moved on from it, it’s just getting annoying. For the record I don’t hate huskerdust, though it does make me uncomfortable due to the age gap (Angel is in his 30s while Husk is in his 70s, technically old enough to be his grandfather.) Most Hazbin hotel fans have been hating on radiodust because it erases aroace representation and doesn’t make sense. Ship wars and ship hating have been a part of fandoms for as long as they’ve existed, so it really isn’t a big deal. But I do wanna address some of the issues because, well, I’m bored and it’s entertaining (also I’m interested in other people’s opinions and viewpoints).

Living my thug life rn I ain’t got time for stupid book series rn.
          
          Peace be with u <3