Iwannadie

When your senpai follows you (Thanks @_SmolTord_)

I specifiacally clicked on your profile purely because of your icon.
          
          Because oh my dog.

Situation update:
          
          
          I had a conversation with him.  
          
          Details:
          
          So I was at a Cross country bonfire and it was time for me to leave.  The party was like a 5 minute walk from my house.  
          
          My friend who carpools with J was picking him up and I said bye as in went to leave.  She asked me how I was getting home and I said I was walking.  Please note it was like 9 pm.  She sternly told me she was going to drive and and that I could not walk home.  I counter argued that it was five god damn minutes away.  
          
          She made me go.  
          
          So me, J and my friend are walking to her parents car and we are joking around.
          
          I made him laugh.  I was so sure I looked like a tomato.  
          
          When we got in the car I sat in the middle (again not my choice) and as I was reaching for my seatbelt, my hand brushed his.  I felt like shit and rainbows at the same god damn time.  It was awesome.  Then we joked all the way to my house. 
          
          
          THE MOTHER FUCKING END
          
          ( p.s.  I updated Fading Echoes and made an art book :3)

I have a question for all of you guys.  So, there's this guy I like, let's call him J, and I am really am in a deep pit of lovesickness.  Like, I really like him.  
          
          But, one of friends likes him too and they carpool sometimes.  She also switched her instrument to J's, "because flutes don't do anything and you can't hear them."  Yea right.  
          
          I really don't want to watch him be taken by one of my friends, but the more I think about this situation, the more plausible it seems and the more I think that I have no chance with him.  And I really feel like I have no chance.  I write fucking gay fanfiction about a Jehovah's and a Communist, God damnit.
          
           For fucks sake, he's got a great smile, is really smart, runs fast, swims, and was first chair trumpet all through middle school.  He's so out of my league.  One oft good friends said he would help me win J's heart, but I feel selfish and just weird doing that.  
          
          I just want him.  He's talked to me, and cheered me on in races, also he knows my name.  But I don't think it's enough.  I've had this crush since  the beginning of Middle School and i haven't really done anything because  I can't.  I'm weak, and can't even talk a while with him.  All I can do is sit back and watch him get taken.  I need help.  I need him.  I am so lovesick, it's unhealthy.  I don't stalk him or any crazy shit like that, I just like him a lot.
          
          I hope you guys understand and read this dumb vent.
          
          Eternal thanks,
          
          Xanadu Nebula

Love your book!