XimenaMonroe

The problem with feeling really happy is that after i come back to reality, i realize how sad and lonely i really am. Is this was drugs are like.

XimenaMonroe

It doesn’t matter how old i get, i can always count on 400 Lux to make me feel like im in a cheesy coming of age movie where i am the main character and my lover and I are running away together to god knows where with no certain plans for the future but im not nervous because i have them if not forever then just for now and that one moment living in my head is enough for me i think

XimenaMonroe

My yearning for you runs deep and strong
          Boiling water rushing through my veins when you speak
          An old oak tree that’s seen it all
          Her long, jagged wrinkles,
          Nests where her secrets lay at rest
          At best
          My stomach can flip when you flash me a smile
          And for a moment
          All my pain
          All my hunger
          Seems worth while
          But dearest,
          How I ache for your hand to rest in mine
          Lovely,
          I’ll grow old and crooked for your sake
          Dear Heart,
          Lay your head at rest in my hollowed out bones
          Pet,
          Let me hide you from the world, 
          Trade its ugliness for mine
          You can be my secret
          You can be my flaw
          You can be my love
          You can be my all

XimenaMonroe

I just realized something. I am. Completely anonymous. I can say. Whatever the hell I want. And have little to no meaningful repercussions. I lost the password to the email connected to this account. So I’m assuming it can’t be traced back to me seeing as I used a fake name and am not signed into it anymore. Therefore. I might as well say that. I am a female person. That likes other female people. But also that. Male people are fine too. Not fine as in “they’re fine I guess and tolerable sometimes”. Well, that too. But also. I like male people too. And uh. I mean “like” as in “mmmmmm yes let me stare at your face and imagine holding your hand and give you baked goods and gifts for your birthday.” I also really enjoy the idea of someone kissing my ear? And sometimes I get really turned on for no reason? And it just. Lasts. For like. Days sometimes. I’m just laying in my bed at 3 am staring at pictures of pretty people on my phone wishing they would kiss my neck and wake up late on Sunday mornings with me and I can make french toast and coffee for them and we can sit together watching a cozy movie and eating breakfast and petting our cat. Obviously I’d like to do more than get kissed on the neck with someone someday but I’ll refrain from anything explicit lest I burn your eyes. I doubt anyone will ever love me that way anyway. It would be selfish to try seeing as most of the time I wonder if anyone loves me at all.