@JesseJoyfull thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed the story. But I'm afraid I can't help, my writing days are pretty much dying out and I'm kind of busy these days. What I recommend to you for your story is that you look over it about a couple of times before posting it, use auto correction to your advantage too, I needed that for some of the many mistakes I have made. I won't guarantee the story to look perfect at first, but that's okay! Stories take many times to practice this out. Trust me, you're not alone. And the most important part of a story is that it is YOUR CREATION, don't let anyone else tell you that your story shouldn't be that way. Have fun with it, add some twists, maybe even add a bad ending, it is all yours! I hoped I was of much help, and sorry again. Much love!!