Hey people? Anyone? I need help...
Recently I feel like I'm not myself... I'm usually a positive person who finds good in everything... But I feel like something is controlling me now, like I have no option but to give in...
My legs, back, arms, neck, brain, eyes, soul, everything has been tired and unwillingly waking up everyday... After one incident, "blowing up" in front of my parents... I wanted to wipe my tears that day but I ripped the napkin in two before I could... It feels like dying and I hate it but I feel it slowly taking over me... I can't even write this message for help without forcing my fingers to move... I'm being honest about this, I've never felt anything like this in my life... I hate having no freedom to do what I want... I can't even feel some emotions I used to feel before... To be honest... My dreams have all been recently crushed by some adults... Perhaps this is why I suddenly feel so hard on them... But I'm usually not like this...
...am I being controlled by something...? Is it a demon...? A ghost of somesort...?
I feel it coming back right now... The feeling of depression, fear, anger, confusion, forcing myself with everything... I need help before something happens to my friends that matter to me most... I need help before I hurt someone... Hurt... Help... It doesn't matter, what's the use? Nothing, no one, nobody, will save ME! I'm just some ordinary human on the Internet, the Internet that won't save me... It hurts tho... Someone please... I need someone... I don't want to break promises of not hurting myself anymore... I need to stop it from trying to hurt people... If I died, would it die too? I just want it gone! I want it to go away! No... This is the only thing making me strong... I'm powerful with it inside me!! I can do anything!!! These adults don't deserve it, they should die rather than tell children we are worthless!!! We- NO! I... H-hurry, someone...it... Really hurts...