I write. Writing is my muse. I love it. I can be anything, anyone. Express my emotions on another level. Music is also a big part of it..when I send music to people I expect them to listen to it. A part of My heart, my mind is in the lyrics. I don't think people understand the way my mind functions. Nobody gets that I'm not normal, I'm so deep in a different reality I question at times if I'm breathing. I cope. I listen to music. The things I hear, the things I see..I've learned to cope. I learned that I can deal with these things through ways others probably find weird. I can cope. I can live. I can find myself again. I stick to myself. Others don't understand, they never will 'till they walk in my shoes and even then I wonder if they truly see my mind. People wonder how I work? I wonder the same, I wonder if the reality I live in is an actual universe or one of many. The voices tell me things I wonder if they are true. I like them. I like that I have them, I cope. I wonder what would happen if it was silent in my mind. How alone I must truly feel. Years go by, my emotions and mind change, I learn. I realize that my life is short. I realize that my mind is the only one I got and I better embrace my crazy. I love it. I'm good. I'm great. I got all the company I need with the personalities that flourish on paper. It took me years to discover myself, even now I'm learning.
I like to thano the artist NF. He shows me crazy is good, crazy is beautiful. Pain is part of life and family is all I got. He's my mind. He's my fears, my emotions all in a song. I relate on a level I'm sure is unrealistic, but it's the only way i can cope. The only way I can express myself. So if you're apart of my life understand that I don't ignore you. I send signals. I send songs. Are you even reading this? Listen to me. Listen to my signals. I am me.