nzmstarie

it was just recently that i am reminded of how young u were when u died. u still had so much to live for. kira, the girl u practically raised at this point, is now in college. u wouldve loved to see her graduate hahahaha
          
          im graduating too, this year. gonna be a doctor soon, i hope. ill save people like u. mahal kita kuya
          
          いつも、ありがとう

http-kanaki

i still regret the day i went inactive last march 2021 because i never would've thought that that was the last day i could talk to you. the silly conversation we had, if i remember correctly, was about me complaining smt about in uni and you being there as the sweetest, kindest, and funniest soul i've ever had the pleasure to meet (online).
          
          it still hurts me, there are so many words unsaid that remained deep inside my heart that i wanted to cry out and tell you. i shouldn't have let our conversation end with you telling me the progress on your carenderia. it was utterly stupid of me to think that you were doing fine because i wasn't. i never wanted to share my burdens to you because i know how much you've went through and i trusted you that you'd do fine—but you weren't. i trusted your words because i really do, i want you to be happy—i have always wished you happiness because you made me the happiest when i was down myself. i wanted to shoulder your burdens, to have you trust me with your problems but i wasn't able to capture your heart as much as you did to me.
          
          pathetic, right? i don't care if what we have together isn't something people would refer to be official but i have cared for you. i have loved you and i have hurt for you. you will always have a special place in my heart despite all the things that had happened. i know that i should've done more, to care more and do more than what you keep on telling me to but... i was too late, yeah?

http-kanaki

i have so many things that i want to tell you, so many things that i want to show you and places to take you to. but i guess i was too late, no? if given the chance, i would've want to continue the museum tour i keep on telling you about and in between the buildings and statues and paintings and sceneties we would've seen together, i would've had the chance to tell you everything that i kept inside my heart.
            
            i miss you, i still have the akaashi drawing you gave me on my birthday and the fic you wrote for me in your main account. i have it with me, always. every year, i am reminded of what had happened to you and i kept on wishing how much i wanted time to stop and prevent that from happening. i'll continue to think about you and keep you alive—even if all we have are memories. we truly are the embodiment of that one bokuaka fic, huh? but things are a bit different yet it remains the same.
            
            so... thank you hikari for talking to me on discord the night mika let me in the server (it was the wattpad buddies from the last time i've been in it)... and telling me that we're near the same age and we acted like the oldest siblings of the server. i wasn't fine back then but... you've made the happiest person that i thought i wouldn't see in me.
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