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Hi! You might not read this but I really love your style story! The drama was gold- keep it up!! <3

DUDE OH MY FCKING GOD WATTPAD JUST DELETED MY SMUTSHOT BOOK WHEN I HAD 30 UNPUBLISHED PARTS THAT ARE NOW DELETED AND I CANT GET BACK WHAT THE FCK

I fr hate being trans so fucking much. Like I just love how my chest aches with pain and I literally have so much to worry about in my life bc I'm transgender. Like yeah, I just woke up one day and decided I wanted to suffer

My parents might be getting a divorce and my mom is currently on the verge if killing herself while me and my sister are crying and contemplating calling the police bc my dad tried hitting her 3 times
          
          I love my life <3

OMFG I MIGHT BE GETTING SET UP WITH A GUY SOON!!!!

I hate love.
          
          I keep feeling this fear and sadness towards my love life atm. I like this boy but he's straight and I have no chance of dating him bc he's not gay and I can't force him to like me. It just hurts like shit bc he's one of my closest friends and I know if I so much as told him he wouldn't look, think, or treat me the same ever again. I just have to stay quiet and bite my tongue as we hang out every day. Knowing and longing to be with him but knowing I'll never be able to. EVER. It hurts like shit bc I see him every day, I listen to his problems, we're there for each other while I have these feelings and he's completely oblivious. I know if I said anything or he heard about it our friendship would be over. He's not homophobic but I just know that if he found out how much I like him I wouldn't be able to get our friendship back.
          
          It also doesn't help that I know I'd be a shit boyfriend because I don't know how to love people. I wasn't raised around love, nor was I given any as a kid. So I never got a set example of how to show, give, or receive affection from another human being. That's how my last relationship ended. That, and I broke up with him because of my feelings for my best friend. 
          
          I'm scared that I'll end up alone my whole life, or I'll end up in a dying, hateful, and loveless marriage just like my parents. I don't want either of those things to happen. I'm desperate for love. I want someone to hold and love just like anyone. But with my luck I know it's not ever going to happen. Or if it does I'm somehow going to fuck it up like i do with everything else. I'm just so tired of love because it means nothing when it all ends the same. Heartbreak

Yo

Yo my love life is confusing as fuck rn
          
          I just broke up with my ex boyfriend a month ago, I have a crush on my straight friend, and I'm in a fake relationship with my other friend purely for the sake of fucking with people.
          
          Now I'm questioning whether I'm still gay or bi anymore.
          
          Wtf

Hewo 

So today I went to my grandparents house and my sister and I went through my grandmother's old clothes because they're moving. While we were looking I went through one of the cabinets near her bed and I found a short white rod, maybe about four inches lone, and it had a very defined shape, curved to perfection and was somewhat pointed at the top. It had a fucking wind at the bottom of it. WHAT THE HELL DID I FIND IN MY FUCKING GRANDMA'S DRAWR?!