Jackie is trash

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough 
          I don’t think I can live in so much pain anymore 
          I’m so goddamn sorry I wasn’t enough for you to stay 
          Oh god no
          Maybe if I was prettier 
          By stoping my breathing 
          Maybe if I was smarter 
          By making my blood stop flowing 
          Maybe if I was perfect 
           By ceasing to live 
          You wouldn’t have left me 
          I need to let go but I’m in so much pain 
          I. Can’t. Let. Go. Please, just end it.
          I wish I could just stab my heart until it stops beating 
          I need this unending pain to stop 
          Until I stop feeling 
          Maybe if I died I could stop feeling this unbelievable pain
          I just wanna die before it gets worse
          Every day for years has been getting worse and worse 
          I can’t take the panic attacks 
          The godamn adhd 
          The sorrow 
          My family, I’m so sorry I couldn’t be enough 
          To maelin bloom,
          I know you never think of me like I think of you everyday 
          You’ll never love me 
          Not like I oh so deeply loved you 
          I’m so sorry I wasn’t enough 
          I wish I was 
          Maybe if I died that would be enough for you 
          Maybe then you’ll finally smile 
          I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. 
          Please don’t forget me 
          Oh god please don’t forget me 
          I’m so sorry, please
          Don’t forget anything about me please, I’m so sorry 
          I know you broke me 
          I know you hate me 
          I know your better off without me 
          But please don’t forget how I gave you my heart 
          And how you smashed it apart 
          If this really is my final goodbye, I just need to say thank you 
          Thank you to those who tried to help, who tried to fix me before realizing  how unfixable I truly am. 
          Please, don’t follow in my footsteps 
          There is beauty in your life 
          Your worth everything 
          If I really do go through with killing myself, and this is my true last goodbye, please smile 
          Fix this world, end racism, end homophobia, end transphobia, end climate change.
          I believe you can change the world and make it beautiful 
          If I could wish for one thing, it would be for nobody to suffer, for nobody to hurt. I know others have it worse than me and I’m selfish.
          My time is up,goodbye

I’m sorry I wasn’t enough 
          I’m so goddamn sorry I wasn’t enough for you to stay 
          Maybe if I was prettier 
          Maybe if I was smarter 
          Maybe if I was perfect 
          You wouldn’t have left me 
          I need to let go but I’m in so much pain 
          I wish I could just stab my heart until it stops beating 
          Until I stop feeling 
          Maybe if I died I could stop feeling this unbelievable pain
          I know you never think of me like I think of you everyday 
          You’ll never love me 
          Not like I oh so deeply loved you 
          I’m so sorry I wasn’t enough 
          I wish I was 
          Maybe if I died that would be enough for you 
          Maybe then you’ll finally smile 
          I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. 
          Please don’t forget me 
          Oh god please don’t forget me 
          I’m so sorry, please

I haven’t contacted anyone in weeks, not my girlfriend nor any friends 
          I think I’m gonna really end it
          There’s really no point in even trying anymore, being a failure is just to much 
          So if anyone does see this, and feels like they care and want me alive 
          Lol I’m kidding myself nobody wants me alive 
          I marked it down and it’s 5 days left for me