PT 1. Hey guys so I need to rant. But before I start, I know this is a long message but I really need some advice and you’ll see what I need advice about it you read the whole thing so please, please, please help this random stranger. Last July, my best guy friend and I became boyfriend and girlfriend. Which, before that, we weren’t really just friends, yk? Like we just had this dynamic, heck we even talked all day every do a whole year before becoming a couple, idk how else to explain it. Anyways, he was my first boyfriend, I never had a talking stage or anything, and in January I started worrying about things, like I was starting to think “am I really ready for something long term like this” and I pretty much just became really scared for the future and stuff. I ended up breaking up with him and recently it’s really been taking a toll on me. I lost my best friend. With him I could talk about anything. I struggle with a lot of anxiety and I’m constantly worried that my friends hate me and I just feel like I’m nobody’s first choice but with him I felt like I was somebody’s first choice and he was without a doubt mine too. When I was feeling sad and alone, he would be the one I would go to bc I never worried that he secretly hated me like I do with others.