"Hi! I am your missing airpod that you thought you left at a friend's house! Nope, I've been sitting under your couch for the past week and you still haven't found me. I'm still so disappointed, like do you clean down here? Anyway, I'm getting lonely down here without your music playing. Find me sooner or later!"   - Yours truly, biatch

 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐬𝐡 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡. 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐮𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐜, 𝐈 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝𝐬. 𝐖𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐈 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐥𝐟𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧, 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧 𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚, 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧