Yutasleftbuttcheeck

Hiiii, how are ya'll? ik this is the first time i post sum here but i've been thinking about this all day so i just needed to ask people.
          	what's your safe place?
          	I think a bunch of people say that it's their bed/home, or sum like that.i was always thinking about what my safe place was,but that's the thing
          	i don't have a safe place
          	my 'home' isn't a safe place because of my mum, i feel stupid saying this but when i try to tell her something to open up more, i get scared and don't say anything. the fact that i'm scared of her makes me want to kms, i'm scared of her because of the fact that she hits me, but i mean who wouldn't lol
          	and then my bed isn't my safe place because i don't really sleep, i'm terrified of sleeping
          	I always have nightmares and wake up only to throw up and have panic attacks
          	the only place i've ever felt safe was at my sisters' friends' house
          	she was like a sister to me, she was the one i felt safe with altought i always felt sus of her dad i just shrugged it off until this one night i was uncomfi and i told my mum.
          	we stopped hanging out with them and i felt guilty. that's when i started to cut- even though i was like 8 lol- and kept on having thoughts of kms 
          	i know that people have different safe places, but i'm still trying to find my own, i feel like every time someone wants me to be kind of protective towards me, i push them off because i shouldn't feel safe, i don't deserve it.I syill cut and i have this one friend who has tried to stop me a bunch of times and i think he's angry and i feel like im being annoying at this point.
          	
          	WOW- that was long lol.
          	that was probably tmi but idk lol
          	Byeeee, please stay healthy and remember that I LUV UUUU, eve thought you might not know it, you might have saved peoples' lives because you are here.
          	You deserve feeling loved and safe
          	Please tell me what ur safe place is tho
          	BYEEEEEEE

Kennyandliz

@LarrySep28 I hope this doesn't concern you and helps you? I don't think what I said was relevant but we're all here to talk to you if you need to.
          	  
          	  <3333333333
          	  (I had to break it down because it wouldn't let me post ;-;)
• Reply

Kennyandliz

this message may be offensive 
@LarrySep28 A similar situation happened when a boy asked me out. He was a creep but I couldn't say no. I didn't say yes but I gave him a "I don't know, maybe later?". Next thing he does is bother some kids and follow me around. If I just straight up told him to fuck off, I wouldn't have to go through the first semester worried this boy my pull something on me.
          	  
          	  I've never had thoughts of killing myself but lately I've been having really violent thoughts. My walls are wooden so I have a weird urge to set them on fire with me inside. I used to smell fire all the time and I still do every now and then. I get really scared of my thoughts because I'm the "innocent girl who stays in happy land all the time". It's my label and people don't listen to me when I say that's not me anymore.
          	  
          	  I trust online people more because a lot of them will either go "aww i hope ur alr <3" or console me with their own problems. I don't have social media but I really appreciate the support I've gotten from strangers online.
• Reply

Kennyandliz

@LarrySep28 Because I don't talk about these emotions, they just get left and shoved deep down inside of me. They sit there for months and I'm just putting on a smile like I'll alright. Everyone perceives me as "innocent" and "always happy", which frustrates me because I show any other emotion other than happiness is me "being fake".
          	  
          	  I have this weird complex of "trying to please my parents, family, friends, and people so I don't end up alone and hurting even more than I do now". I break the rules my parents set but I feel like there's a mental and emotional barrier stopping me from trying to show people I'm not the girl they think I am.
          	  
          	  I get so mad and frustrated that I don't do anything about it because people view me as "weak and meek" and to be honest, I feel that way about myself. I wanted my best friend to stop tickling me because it really made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to mention it but I'm too soft with people. I felt powerless because she's one of those people who will guilt trip you into choosing "hair tug" or "tickling". I know she thinks it's harmless but I really want her to stop.
• Reply

Yutasleftbuttcheeck

Hiiii, how are ya'll? ik this is the first time i post sum here but i've been thinking about this all day so i just needed to ask people.
          what's your safe place?
          I think a bunch of people say that it's their bed/home, or sum like that.i was always thinking about what my safe place was,but that's the thing
          i don't have a safe place
          my 'home' isn't a safe place because of my mum, i feel stupid saying this but when i try to tell her something to open up more, i get scared and don't say anything. the fact that i'm scared of her makes me want to kms, i'm scared of her because of the fact that she hits me, but i mean who wouldn't lol
          and then my bed isn't my safe place because i don't really sleep, i'm terrified of sleeping
          I always have nightmares and wake up only to throw up and have panic attacks
          the only place i've ever felt safe was at my sisters' friends' house
          she was like a sister to me, she was the one i felt safe with altought i always felt sus of her dad i just shrugged it off until this one night i was uncomfi and i told my mum.
          we stopped hanging out with them and i felt guilty. that's when i started to cut- even though i was like 8 lol- and kept on having thoughts of kms 
          i know that people have different safe places, but i'm still trying to find my own, i feel like every time someone wants me to be kind of protective towards me, i push them off because i shouldn't feel safe, i don't deserve it.I syill cut and i have this one friend who has tried to stop me a bunch of times and i think he's angry and i feel like im being annoying at this point.
          
          WOW- that was long lol.
          that was probably tmi but idk lol
          Byeeee, please stay healthy and remember that I LUV UUUU, eve thought you might not know it, you might have saved peoples' lives because you are here.
          You deserve feeling loved and safe
          Please tell me what ur safe place is tho
          BYEEEEEEE

Kennyandliz

@LarrySep28 I hope this doesn't concern you and helps you? I don't think what I said was relevant but we're all here to talk to you if you need to.
            
            <3333333333
            (I had to break it down because it wouldn't let me post ;-;)
• Reply

Kennyandliz

this message may be offensive 
@LarrySep28 A similar situation happened when a boy asked me out. He was a creep but I couldn't say no. I didn't say yes but I gave him a "I don't know, maybe later?". Next thing he does is bother some kids and follow me around. If I just straight up told him to fuck off, I wouldn't have to go through the first semester worried this boy my pull something on me.
            
            I've never had thoughts of killing myself but lately I've been having really violent thoughts. My walls are wooden so I have a weird urge to set them on fire with me inside. I used to smell fire all the time and I still do every now and then. I get really scared of my thoughts because I'm the "innocent girl who stays in happy land all the time". It's my label and people don't listen to me when I say that's not me anymore.
            
            I trust online people more because a lot of them will either go "aww i hope ur alr <3" or console me with their own problems. I don't have social media but I really appreciate the support I've gotten from strangers online.
• Reply

Kennyandliz

@LarrySep28 Because I don't talk about these emotions, they just get left and shoved deep down inside of me. They sit there for months and I'm just putting on a smile like I'll alright. Everyone perceives me as "innocent" and "always happy", which frustrates me because I show any other emotion other than happiness is me "being fake".
            
            I have this weird complex of "trying to please my parents, family, friends, and people so I don't end up alone and hurting even more than I do now". I break the rules my parents set but I feel like there's a mental and emotional barrier stopping me from trying to show people I'm not the girl they think I am.
            
            I get so mad and frustrated that I don't do anything about it because people view me as "weak and meek" and to be honest, I feel that way about myself. I wanted my best friend to stop tickling me because it really made me feel uncomfortable. I tried to mention it but I'm too soft with people. I felt powerless because she's one of those people who will guilt trip you into choosing "hair tug" or "tickling". I know she thinks it's harmless but I really want her to stop.
• Reply

Min_suga_085

Sorry for bothering you but I just want to say that thank you for existing in this world even though life is harder than before...hehe have a good day
          ( T_T)＼(^-^ )
          You work so hard...I'm proud of you╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯

Min_suga_085

@LarrySep28 ❤️
• Reply

Yutasleftbuttcheeck

@Min_suga_085 thxxxx luv u ( sorry for literally replying like 3 weeks after-) i'm proud of u too
• Reply