FInal message : I do not have any reason to say this.
In 2024, i spent a year living with someone, pretending i was gay so that she would trust my intentions toward her. And i played that role for a year, almost, giving her a listening ear and walking her to health, whilst she thought, i was just an insecure guy. She was a patient i met in the psychward and since the social workers liked me so much despite me being so crazy and hated by society, they thought it would be a good idea to put us in the same appartment so they made it happen. I did my magic, and she was feeling better, she had chauvinism, and feminism, inferiority, loneliness, anxiety, addiction, abuse trauma, isolation, and basically, something i had no way to carry, but i did anyway, and she got better. I even pretended like i was gonna rape her, to get myself out of that appartment without making her feel like the problem. I gave her everything, but i was a use a throw. But then again by then i had already accepted my place as a use and throw, since i had spent 2 years giving comfort and validation to strangers on Goodnight, reddit, telegram, discord, quora, and then being left with the passed down trauma. And before i got the chance to fix myself, some of my patients, turned on me and showed me evil, and then i ended up in a mental hospital, where i tried to tell them what happened but they just medicated me and locked me up with more patients to comfort and validate. Year one i thought it would be over, year two, i thought i was a useless use and throw object for validation and comfort (less with each passing second) since i was bordering on breakage. So i held on to you, so that i wouldnt break. There was no point in even being angry anymore. I was probably the real problem. Even you said so "youre not a victim", yeah i guess im not a victim, just someone who was wrong about doing the right thing... or probably right about doing the right thing. I am a walking use and throw comfort and validation.
