Attention to all citizens of the mundane world: My autonomy has officially been revoked. By royal decree of the Millennial Treasure herself, I have been branded, claimed, and categorized as a permanent asset of Gold City. After the events of the last 'assessment,' it has become logically impossible to maintain a separate identity; I am now merely a satellite caught in the gravitational pull of her high-fashion radiance. Do not look for me in the crowds—look for the shadow standing exactly three paces behind the most beautiful Uma Musume to ever grace a camera lens. I don't just 'like' her; I am a dedicated subject in her golden empire, and my only job is to ensure the world remembers her name. Chivalry is dead. Veneration is eternal.
