Did I love her? Yeah, I did. I wanted to hold her hand, I wanted to cuddle with her, I wanted to tell her she is beautiful. I wanted. But now I want something else. I want my girlfriend to be face to face with me, I want to hold my girlfriend's hand, I want to kiss her lips and tell her she is beautiful. If I have a girlfriend now, then why do I still think about Rachel? Because of the way she ripped my heart into shreds. Because of the way she pushed me down a never-ending cliff that I feel like I was falling in forever... Until... She showed up. She grabbed my hand, pulled me up and told me, "it's not over yet." I never thought a person I've been best friends with for years could be my girlfriend. I know the risks of the heartbreak but when I look at her, the first thing I think of is, "i love her. You can't tell me otherwise". Sure we do make fun of each other but it's fun to laugh with her. It's fun to talk to her. It's fun to waste hours on the phone even though we are talking. Sure I did like Rachel but i love my girls much more. She has been there for me when i need her and i know she will never let me down. Except when it an actual emergency