I don't know who would even read this or if anyone still owns the accounts I put something on, but, hi. It's "Archer", as I was known three years ago. I wanna share my story.
My relationship with Nick was abusive. I've written these words so many times before, yet it feels no less difficult than it did the first time around. I could provide numerous details, including things I never consented to in hindsight and was tricked into liking, and all the ways he physically or mentally hurt me, but I don't think that would be worth it.
But I will share what happened the way we ended was with a razor to my right arm, once near my elbow and another time on my forearm, both times in class, on different days. Throughout our relationship, Nick had expressed many ways in which he wanted to hurt me, or that he wanted to kill me. In my love-bombed and mentally unstable head, I took this as a sign of his affection. What I did not, however, was consent for him to cut me. ever. I had set a boundary within our relationship before that, while no consent was ever asked, that I was okay with him biting me, but after he asked to cut me with our friend's pocket knife, I told him that I couldn't handle that.
And yet, without asking for my permission, in a very low part of my life when I was not mentally all there, he hurt me.
Due to his actions, I moved schools and left all my friends behind while I was still coming to terms with the abuse I'd endured.
I am still healing, even after three years, and I've been wanting to share my story with the people who might still be looking here, looking for clarity on my disappearance. I hope this has provided the clarity needed.
Please know that I am completely separated from Nick and that I have been no-contact for these three years. Thank you for reading. Please stay safe.
